Transformation

(Inspiration for this poetic piece, click me to listen to song)

Transformation

I feel myself disconnecting from who I am.

Who I am….

Who I…………..was?

I’m beginning to wonder: what’s wrong with me? 

Why am I losing pieces of myself?

Why are those pieces floating out of my consciousness like a stream of water flowing downstream at an unimaginably blinding speed?

I see you. 

I…..saw you?

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m starting to see you or if I’m beginning to see…….my own reflection?

Like a kaleidoscope of dizzying colors, my once dreary eyes are beginning to see the faint lights of ever-changing fates.

To see the potential of you and I. To feel the winds of unspoken truths caress my face with faulty lies.

I’ve begun to speak in my dreams of feverish nightmares borne of an indifference to what’s going on in our shared world.

I’ve begun to distance myself from who we are meant to be.

I’ve broken our promise.

I’m sorry.

I’m so incredibly sorry.

I feel like I failed who I was meant to be.

And yet…

Yet my future is bright.

What does that even mean?

Why do we cherish those who have “made it”?

One day.

One day, I swear on my very soul.

I will live my truth.

I will change this world, even if for just a flash of a moment.

I will change the collective consciousness of our society for just a second in history.

I will defend the honor of what it means to truly survive and thrive in this world, I will remind myself of why I still breathe.

No doubt the best of humanity dies young; for the old and aging continue to live and support this world full of deception and abuse. I should know, I’m becoming such a thing. Such a creature of the night.

Why haven’t I ended it all for myself?

I don’t feel suicidal. That’s likely the reason why. But still…why am I playing along with this game?

I can’t stop myself either. I’m filled with determination unlike anything of this world. But…why? Why am I so competitive? Why am I so determined? Even though I don’t wish to be, I just am?

Confusing thoughts spiral in my mind as a wave of over-confidence washes over me…or is it doubt?

But I’m not indecisive; though I wish I was at this moment.

I wish I was more confused than I’m playing it out to be.

I wish I could come up with some excuse; some tainted truth.

Thoughts intertwined with hallowed emotions. I don’t actually feel anything at this moment. I’ve become numb. And yet, my heart still beats? It beats with life, with the ever-pulsing rhythm of life.

Why has our world succumb to such devastation and derelict woes?

Why, why, why, why, why, why.

Our voices are drowned out, our opinions are non-existent, and our stories will forever be untold.

The truth will forever glimmer in the moonlit sky like a long-forgotten wish. The truth will flicker as a lone candle does in the dead of night. The truth will be unseen like the silent bird which has no voice to sing. The truth will exist, but only for itself alone. It will never be comforted, never be hugged with delight or cherished for its unique characteristics. It will never be able to shine so brightly that the sun, and the moon, and all the stars are meaningless to the bountiful life on Earth.

The truth will forever remain unclaimed. Forever untouched and despised. For truth brings inconvenience. It fosters a sense of hostility between two souls. It reminds all of us of our inevitable death. It reminds us that life is so precious; yet we are wasting it away day-in-and-day-out by working away at a job which holds no meaning to our true community; our true loved-ones.

The truth is harsh.

It is cruel and cold.

Like the nights of cold-sweat drenching your body; it is unforgiving and relentless. Like the days full of addiction and of growing numbness to life; rejection of truth brings about the calamity of your very existence. Like the darkening sky full of dread, or the mysterious secrets veraciously biting away at your soul as you try and reason and bargain with darker realities. Truth untouched is like a baby without her mother. It is like an unheard cry in the middle of nowhere. It is like the blood-thirsty eyes of a feral creature ready to devour it’s prey.

It is like the breaking of glass, as the world comes shattering down upon the weight of our lies.

But…

Once acknowledge and accepted; truth transforms it’s once ugly disguise into a beautiful soul.

Dancing in the light of day, truth can once again show us the way to salvation and holiness.

It can help us become worthy of being named children of goodness. Children of the righteous path – even if it isn’t always the easiest one.

Truth……

Truth can set us free again.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view picture credits)

Ancient Mystics & Seers Were Mathematical Statisticians

I believe that Mystics and Seers in the ancient world (and in today’s world as well) must have secretly been Statisticians. They must have used statistics in their daily lives whenever they were helping to “predict” someone’s future. They did this simply by knowing some basic knowledge of who their client was. A really good Mystic or Seer likely knew everyone in the town or city they lived in. That’s probably why they were able to “accurately” (or closely enough) predict what that person’s future was to hold for them. They must have seen the probabilities and likelihood of events that can happen in a human’s life span.

Undoubtedly, the best types of Mystics and Seers are those who have “intuition”. Those types of Mystics and Seers utilize both their instincts and their logic. That is possibly one of the deadliest combinations a person can ever wield.

You see, the best Mystics and Seers imbue both the logical and complex world of statistics with the world of strong intuition and common sense. This is what makes them so coveted and even feared.

When I was younger, I always wondered what the magic was behind “Fortune-Tellers”. I always wondered if there was some kind of trick or hidden secret they knew that I simply would never uncover or understand. But now that I’m older, I’ve come to decipher their secret craft and trade. The answer, however, was definitely not what I thought it would be. But nevertheless, I am convinced that these types of “gifted” people are merely “touched” with the gift to understand and utilize what we call “statistics” in todays modern world.

Think about it in this context:

When Rome was about to “fall” from it’s position of military power over it’s neighboring countries and nations, I’m certain many of those who were skilled at “foresight” knew what was about to happen within a couple of months. They could sense, based off of any information they could gather from the high-class society of Roman society, and also with the general unrest that was growing even from within their boundaries. There are likely many sources of evidence that led to the eventual downfall of Rome as an empire, but likely, this “predestined” fall was undoubtedly already predicted based off the information many Mystics and Seers had gathered over the span of a couple of months.

That’s also probably why many people found Mystics and Seers so mysterious to begin with. They likely were misunderstood in terms of not understanding how they perceived and took-in information. They likely deciphered scenarios unfolding in vastly different ways then a common person could at that time. You see, religion was the ruling authority of the ancient world. Thus, mathematics, science, or anything else that had to deal with the scary “logical” side of reality, was banned from the mainstream of many different societies. It wasn’t always this way, but history has a strange way of falling into historical cycles. Repeating history is inevitable to some degree, but that is simply because we are human and we’ll never truly change who we are.

In summary; Statistics, this single branch of the overall mathematics curriculum, is probably one of the most descriptive and arduous math courses one can take in their lifetime. There’s something in-depth about it; knowing the mere probabilities of an event occurring. It’s so mind-stimulating and intense; it undoubtedly makes me giddy with joy just wondering about all of the possibilities out there in the world.

I would certainly love to find out more about this, but I think for today, that should do it for this post. Some things, perhaps, are better left unspoken.

 

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel