Transformation

(Inspiration for this poetic piece, click me to listen to song)

Transformation

I feel myself disconnecting from who I am.

Who I am….

Who I…………..was?

I’m beginning to wonder: what’s wrong with me? 

Why am I losing pieces of myself?

Why are those pieces floating out of my consciousness like a stream of water flowing downstream at an unimaginably blinding speed?

I see you. 

I…..saw you?

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m starting to see you or if I’m beginning to see…….my own reflection?

Like a kaleidoscope of dizzying colors, my once dreary eyes are beginning to see the faint lights of ever-changing fates.

To see the potential of you and I. To feel the winds of unspoken truths caress my face with faulty lies.

I’ve begun to speak in my dreams of feverish nightmares borne of an indifference to what’s going on in our shared world.

I’ve begun to distance myself from who we are meant to be.

I’ve broken our promise.

I’m sorry.

I’m so incredibly sorry.

I feel like I failed who I was meant to be.

And yet…

Yet my future is bright.

What does that even mean?

Why do we cherish those who have “made it”?

One day.

One day, I swear on my very soul.

I will live my truth.

I will change this world, even if for just a flash of a moment.

I will change the collective consciousness of our society for just a second in history.

I will defend the honor of what it means to truly survive and thrive in this world, I will remind myself of why I still breathe.

No doubt the best of humanity dies young; for the old and aging continue to live and support this world full of deception and abuse. I should know, I’m becoming such a thing. Such a creature of the night.

Why haven’t I ended it all for myself?

I don’t feel suicidal. That’s likely the reason why. But still…why am I playing along with this game?

I can’t stop myself either. I’m filled with determination unlike anything of this world. But…why? Why am I so competitive? Why am I so determined? Even though I don’t wish to be, I just am?

Confusing thoughts spiral in my mind as a wave of over-confidence washes over me…or is it doubt?

But I’m not indecisive; though I wish I was at this moment.

I wish I was more confused than I’m playing it out to be.

I wish I could come up with some excuse; some tainted truth.

Thoughts intertwined with hallowed emotions. I don’t actually feel anything at this moment. I’ve become numb. And yet, my heart still beats? It beats with life, with the ever-pulsing rhythm of life.

Why has our world succumb to such devastation and derelict woes?

Why, why, why, why, why, why.

Our voices are drowned out, our opinions are non-existent, and our stories will forever be untold.

The truth will forever glimmer in the moonlit sky like a long-forgotten wish. The truth will flicker as a lone candle does in the dead of night. The truth will be unseen like the silent bird which has no voice to sing. The truth will exist, but only for itself alone. It will never be comforted, never be hugged with delight or cherished for its unique characteristics. It will never be able to shine so brightly that the sun, and the moon, and all the stars are meaningless to the bountiful life on Earth.

The truth will forever remain unclaimed. Forever untouched and despised. For truth brings inconvenience. It fosters a sense of hostility between two souls. It reminds all of us of our inevitable death. It reminds us that life is so precious; yet we are wasting it away day-in-and-day-out by working away at a job which holds no meaning to our true community; our true loved-ones.

The truth is harsh.

It is cruel and cold.

Like the nights of cold-sweat drenching your body; it is unforgiving and relentless. Like the days full of addiction and of growing numbness to life; rejection of truth brings about the calamity of your very existence. Like the darkening sky full of dread, or the mysterious secrets veraciously biting away at your soul as you try and reason and bargain with darker realities. Truth untouched is like a baby without her mother. It is like an unheard cry in the middle of nowhere. It is like the blood-thirsty eyes of a feral creature ready to devour it’s prey.

It is like the breaking of glass, as the world comes shattering down upon the weight of our lies.

But…

Once acknowledge and accepted; truth transforms it’s once ugly disguise into a beautiful soul.

Dancing in the light of day, truth can once again show us the way to salvation and holiness.

It can help us become worthy of being named children of goodness. Children of the righteous path – even if it isn’t always the easiest one.

Truth……

Truth can set us free again.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view picture credits)

Philosophical Journey (Part 2)

Hello everyone, it’s R.S. Noel here with another post. I first wanted to start off by saying thank you to all of my new followers; I’ve been reading many of your interesting articles over the past few days, and it’s inspired me to let go of some of the small biting fear still lingering inside of me. Over the next following years, I want to share with all of you the reflection of our shared world and reality.

Since time immemorial, humans have strived for survival. We’ve strived for a life worth fighting for, a life worth experiencing. Many-a-times, our ancestors failed. Other times though, they’ve succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. But what defines success? In fact, I realized my definition of success may very well in fact be largely different from the definition of success society has thrust upon us.

To me, success is defined as achieving some form or level of enlightenment in your own personal life. Once a person has achieved this general sense of acceptance and happiness, their life truly begins to flourish in ways indescribable in any human words. It’s as though the adventure of a lifetime has just begun, and you suddenly find yourself aboard the ship embarking on this esoteric and mysterious journey. It’s as though the thrill of the unknown no longer scares you. More importantly, you begin to change without even realizing it at first glance.

There are so many unheard secrets, unattended emotions, and unfulfilled desires surrounding us in our daily lives. It’s a silent cry to live a life worth living and experiencing. Though my societal life may not be up-to-par with what our human civilization may deem as “successful”, my personal life has flourished immensely; and I’ve come to thank God for giving me this very specific and particular life.

The true meaning of life? It’s simply to enjoy the company of your loved ones, your friends, and the many new people you may very well meet throughout your lifetime.

It really is as simple as this. Nothing else should ever get in the way of you and your loved ones. Life holds so much more meaning and depth when you begin to shed away the layers and layers of lies and deception our modern-day society has spoon-fed us since birth. Life is so truly beautiful and tragic, and it would be a shame to not be able to experience all of this in it’s entirety.

My heart races every time I write, my mind tinkers and moves with the waves of emotions and logic like an ocean long-forgotten. I swim deep within the ether of life and death, finding myself on the very fine and thin line between this world and the next. Philosophy is this experience, and so much more. It is Truth, it is the acknowledgement of The Other, it is the acceptance of indifferences, and moreover, philosophy is the very definition of madness.

It’s grander than any modern-day drama or play, and it’s more real than any of the false idols the mainstream media tries to forcibly shove down our throats.

There’s a real sense of beauty in the sadness as well, but moreover, there’s a definitive grace and alluring aroma to joy. Both of these combined create quite the life worth experiencing. It helps to shape your consciousness to better understand the truths, lies, and everything in-between. It helps you to secretly know when someone is lying to you, it helps you in times when you recognize genuine intent, and it can certainly help you when you feel uncertain.

Trust your gut instinct, it’s there for a reason.

We cannot fail, because there is no such thing as failing. Failing is defined only in society. In the natural world, you can never fail, because you will always try your hardest and damnedest.

It’s grit that gets us through the tough times, it’s a sense of morality of what we see as right or wrong which creates our environment. Don’t forget the depths of your love either, for that is the energy source of all creations and great things. That is the only force in the whole universe that is uniquely human. It is something even the darkest of nights could never take away; for its’ flames burn eternal. As long as humans exist, it will always burn.

We live for our loved ones, we live for our hobbies and charity-work. We live for the days of great joy and great sorrow. We live for the songs of storytelling. Our lives our defined not by what we say, but by what we do.

Heart of passion and agony is what makes life worth living. It creates an experience of grander and specialty. It fosters the deep drive within all of us to create a story and carve out a path that will never again be walked or experienced. No one knows the thoughts that swirl in your mind at night, for your life is yours alone. 

And even though we may die alone, we create memories together. This has always comforted me, it has always reminded me that even enemies make great companions when death has met you halfway.

Think of all of the times you may have felt yourself question the validity of your life. Think back to all of the days you questioned why you’re still alive. If you can remember as far back as possible; think back to those happier days of when you felt truly alive and well.

Those thoughts, memories, and emotions you felt will never die out. Those are your creations alone, and nobody can ever take that away from you, no matter how much they may hate or despise you.

I know the road ahead of me is one riddled in pain, suffering, and great unknown. But I’ve come to accept this reality. I forgive any hatred, any such malice, and any misunderstandings that may arise. I’ll do whatever it takes to make a future where humans are the main concern – not automations, not profits generated from corporations, and certainly, not those who would wish harm on others.

My end-goal in life? That will remain a secret until the day I die. But what I will say; is that I hope it’s not too late. I hope this post has reminded you, in some small or large way, that you still have a duty to fulfill as a human being. You are still needed here on Earth, even if it’s to keep you loved ones company. You can’t back down, not now. For our lives, in death, hold no more meaning then the darkness of the universe. But in life, we can create such catastrophic change that nothing in the world could ever be prepared for the healing, comfort, and truth you bring along. You have your whole life to change the world; and even if your older, as long as your still alive and breathing, you haven’t failed.

Make amends with your past, move onto a more adventurous future, and always remember, that your heart, your passion, and your love will be cherished until the ends of time itself. For love is a human emotion, and no matter how vast or wide the universe is, nothing can ever eradicate or swallow that truth.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel