Transformation

(Inspiration for this poetic piece, click me to listen to song)

Transformation

I feel myself disconnecting from who I am.

Who I am….

Who I…………..was?

I’m beginning to wonder: what’s wrong with me? 

Why am I losing pieces of myself?

Why are those pieces floating out of my consciousness like a stream of water flowing downstream at an unimaginably blinding speed?

I see you. 

I…..saw you?

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m starting to see you or if I’m beginning to see…….my own reflection?

Like a kaleidoscope of dizzying colors, my once dreary eyes are beginning to see the faint lights of ever-changing fates.

To see the potential of you and I. To feel the winds of unspoken truths caress my face with faulty lies.

I’ve begun to speak in my dreams of feverish nightmares borne of an indifference to what’s going on in our shared world.

I’ve begun to distance myself from who we are meant to be.

I’ve broken our promise.

I’m sorry.

I’m so incredibly sorry.

I feel like I failed who I was meant to be.

And yet…

Yet my future is bright.

What does that even mean?

Why do we cherish those who have “made it”?

One day.

One day, I swear on my very soul.

I will live my truth.

I will change this world, even if for just a flash of a moment.

I will change the collective consciousness of our society for just a second in history.

I will defend the honor of what it means to truly survive and thrive in this world, I will remind myself of why I still breathe.

No doubt the best of humanity dies young; for the old and aging continue to live and support this world full of deception and abuse. I should know, I’m becoming such a thing. Such a creature of the night.

Why haven’t I ended it all for myself?

I don’t feel suicidal. That’s likely the reason why. But still…why am I playing along with this game?

I can’t stop myself either. I’m filled with determination unlike anything of this world. But…why? Why am I so competitive? Why am I so determined? Even though I don’t wish to be, I just am?

Confusing thoughts spiral in my mind as a wave of over-confidence washes over me…or is it doubt?

But I’m not indecisive; though I wish I was at this moment.

I wish I was more confused than I’m playing it out to be.

I wish I could come up with some excuse; some tainted truth.

Thoughts intertwined with hallowed emotions. I don’t actually feel anything at this moment. I’ve become numb. And yet, my heart still beats? It beats with life, with the ever-pulsing rhythm of life.

Why has our world succumb to such devastation and derelict woes?

Why, why, why, why, why, why.

Our voices are drowned out, our opinions are non-existent, and our stories will forever be untold.

The truth will forever glimmer in the moonlit sky like a long-forgotten wish. The truth will flicker as a lone candle does in the dead of night. The truth will be unseen like the silent bird which has no voice to sing. The truth will exist, but only for itself alone. It will never be comforted, never be hugged with delight or cherished for its unique characteristics. It will never be able to shine so brightly that the sun, and the moon, and all the stars are meaningless to the bountiful life on Earth.

The truth will forever remain unclaimed. Forever untouched and despised. For truth brings inconvenience. It fosters a sense of hostility between two souls. It reminds all of us of our inevitable death. It reminds us that life is so precious; yet we are wasting it away day-in-and-day-out by working away at a job which holds no meaning to our true community; our true loved-ones.

The truth is harsh.

It is cruel and cold.

Like the nights of cold-sweat drenching your body; it is unforgiving and relentless. Like the days full of addiction and of growing numbness to life; rejection of truth brings about the calamity of your very existence. Like the darkening sky full of dread, or the mysterious secrets veraciously biting away at your soul as you try and reason and bargain with darker realities. Truth untouched is like a baby without her mother. It is like an unheard cry in the middle of nowhere. It is like the blood-thirsty eyes of a feral creature ready to devour it’s prey.

It is like the breaking of glass, as the world comes shattering down upon the weight of our lies.

But…

Once acknowledge and accepted; truth transforms it’s once ugly disguise into a beautiful soul.

Dancing in the light of day, truth can once again show us the way to salvation and holiness.

It can help us become worthy of being named children of goodness. Children of the righteous path – even if it isn’t always the easiest one.

Truth……

Truth can set us free again.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view picture credits)

Music Monday! – As I Write

Welcome to my new series Music Monday! This series will be the very harbinger of what I listen to whenever I write stories of fiction. It’s a recording and a collection of the best inspiring music which has had a variety of effects on me. Depending on what I’m writing, I usually listen to one of three types of genres. The first, is that of daring adventure. The second, is one of immense tragedy or sorrow. And the third, is usually that of intensely dark or twisted music.

Here’s a sample of what I’m listening to at the moment as I write. I would also advise you wear headphones if you do decide to check out the music. You can hear every single piece of note and instrument being played out much better this way: (Click me to listen to music via youtube).

The thundering sounds of suspense, the endless waves of emotions that comes with the monumental encounters of life; these are the moments I live for. At times, when I’m writing a scene that is full of blinding twists and endless turns, I find myself gladly overcome by a huge amount of adrenaline which washes over me and nearly drowns me in the expanse of life’s many outcomes. It’s an onslaught of events, back-to-back-to-back; and I love every minute of it.

A lead-up to an even larger event; which leads to a different path and an outcome unseen; until the crescendo is met near the end of each main plot-line. These are the moments I live for as a writer.

It’s so strong, so intense, that my fingers are typing just in-tempo with the blinding speed of succession of the heart-pounding scene unfolding in front of my mind’s eye. Though I can barely keep up with the pace of my rapidly-changing brain patterns as the story comes to me through some sixth sense, or God-knows what else; I am rewarded when I finish each scene. Though I may have exhausted all sources of energyreserve within my soul; once I finish a scene, I see the hard-work that actually goes into it. Like any good story, there is a definitive “beginning”, “middle”, and “end”.

There are countless and numerous tracks that I listen to; and with this series, I’m hoping that I can record them all. I know it might be near-impossible, since there are so many tracks that I listen to while I write.

But with every track played, I get that much closer to finding closure in each story I write.

Writing is such a sacred art. It consist of concentration on a level that many of us are not comfortable with. It can cause a sort of distancing mechanism in writers, and many times, it can even cause extreme cases of isolation. Yet that’s what makes writing so intriguing. Like many other forms of expression; writing can produce works of living art. And if you’re lucky enough to know how to work through the social environment of the movie industry, you may even see your own book turned into a movie.

In the end though, one must remember to balance out their lives. Because, as the saying goes: “everything in moderation”. Or else you can very well find yourself somewhat deranged and mentally exhausted.

During my breaks between writing, I keep each story deep within the confinements of my mind; since nowadays, I’m focused more on school-work then I am with my true interest, which rests in writing.

In some way, that’s why I started this website/blog. I wanted a place where I could jot down my thoughts on different topics. Probably the best surprise, was that it also helped me connect with countless people with interesting life-stories and backgrounds full of inquisitive knowledge. It’s led me to this amazing network full of other passionate writers, photographers, travelers, and hobbyists. It’s led me down a path which I am all-too glad to walk upon.

There are certainly many things left unsaid in this post, but for today, I believe it’s the right time to end this piece.

God bless all of you, and I hope you have a fine rest of your day, (or night)!

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits)!

What is Love? (Part 1)

Love is such an immensely large part of who we are as human beings. It’s what defines us as a species, and moreover, it’s what defines the generations to come into existence. We are passionate creatures, we do “reckless” things out of our emotions of love. The greatest dramas, tragedies, and plays of our time have all cumulated to stories with the whirlwind effects and consequences of true love at it’s highest form.

It’s something that we will never get rid of, and I’m completely glad this is the case. Because life without love is like a fish without water. In other words; there’s no point to living life without some form of love.

The whole premise of our existence is to feel; just as much as we utilize our minds for logic. Truth be told though, it’s a balancing act. It’s about the Yin and Yang, about the equilibrium of our existential presence here in this experience we call life.

Hello everyone, it’s me R.S. Noel coming to you with another post. I want to say thank you again for all of the new and returning followers; this has become such a great and interactive side-hobby for me, that I can see myself blogging for years to come. I have plenty of time (God willing I don’t get hit by a truck or anything), and I intend to use some of that time in life reading, and more importantly, writing; here on my website.

Since the beginning of time for human beings, love has always been at the root of our birth. Through the harshest winters imaginable, to the deadliest heatwaves known to mankind; love has always prospered a civilization, it has always made a people grow into a culture worth remembering and worth knowing. For even through all of the convoluted lies, deceptions, and backstabbing; love will always prevail in the end. And that’s what makes life such a thrill, such a rush of fresh air.

It’s exhilarating, the experience of knowing someone you love will always be by your side; whether in life or in memory; love still exists in both realms. A companion to always comfort you when you’re in your darkest hour of life; such a person in your personal life surely holds great importance to you. That emotion you feel for your loved one, that feeling you experience every time you see them; that’s what life is all about. It’s about cherishing the small time we all have here on Earth, and making the best of whatever twisted or unfair situation we find ourselves in. Because at the end of the day, none of the “fluff” of materialism has ever mattered. You won’t be taking anything of material wealth with you to the afterlife. The only things that remain, then, are those of our most cherished memories. Of our fondest times here on Earth.

Love is so incredibly powerful.

It defies the very laws of physics. A force that not even science can ever prove, or disprove. Love is boundless, free-spirited, and has a wild mind of its own. It takes a hold of you in ways you never knew existed. It transcends any drug, any source of pleasure, and any type of attention any of us could ever receive. When you find true love, it’s as though the whole world stops existing for a single moment in time. It’s as though the winds stop, the oceans become calm, and all of the problems and mayhem that plagues your societal life; come to a complete and utter halt.

It’s that emotion you feel after getting over the nastiest memories, the cruelest of people, or the hardest of days. It’s a feeling of truth, the kind that never leaves you. It’s like breathing out a sigh of relief that releases all of your worries, doubts, and fears.

Such an emotion is forbidden in our world for a reason. It holds the very life-force to change the course of our history.

In my own personal life, I secretly utilize this force of change for the betterment of not just my future; but hopefully the future of other people’s life as well. I understand to some degree, that the feeling of love is forever fleeting, and will just as soon arrive at my front door just as quickly as it’s willing to leave.

So what is the purpose of this post today? Well put simply, it’s to remind you of what’s important; even when shit hits the fan. It’s to help keep you grounded when you start to feel powerless or useless. It’s to motivate you to keep on walking forward, even when you see the road ahead of you appears to be nearly impossible to traverse.

Because at the end of the day, all that remains, is love.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits)!

Discovering Yourself and Others in Mathematics

Good day everyone, it’s R.S. Noel here with another post. I first want to start this post by thanking all of my new and returning followers, it’s an honor to have such an audience of diverse and intriguing backgrounds. Moreover, I want to also say that I’ve read some of your articles during the small free time that I have, and I’m inspired by the different topics and discussion points each of you has to bring into WordPress’ network. 

I want to say one simple truth before I begin: life has many experiences that makes it what it is for human beings. But what I’ll be discussing today is going to be purely from the perspective of “cause and effect” in terms of how it may look algorithmically. 

Put simply, if you’ve ever seen the movie (or read the book) of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, then you’ll remember that the answer of life is “42”.

Even though the answer “42” may be for comic relief; the whole premise of the joke is that life appears to be “unsolvable”.

Yet in real life, aside from movies, books, and other such forms of entertainment or sources of information; the equations and probabilities conjured up to find the many different answers to life are easily explainable indeed.

When someone does an act of kindness for another human being, there’s a hidden burst of energy that both people feel. It may not be tangible, but the feeling is undeniable in its existence. Just like how we know dark matter exists in the universe, so does the energy we feel inside. Caused by neurons and the dopamine that is released, these good feelings come in the form of “stimulants” to our brains.

So what does any of this have to do with finding yourself and others in mathematics?

Well, once you begin to see the patterns of life, you’ll begin to notice that life exists in two forms for us.

The first pattern, is the pattern of our conceptualized world. This is the part of life that can be predicted quite easily with equations of probabilities. To determine outcomes in this part of life is quite straightforward (for the most part). This is the world in which we see each other everyday and understand how the world operates in terms of work, society, our families, and so forth. This is the logical side of life.

The second pattern, is the unknown pattern. Now this one requires those professionals who truly understand and breathe mathematics in a way that most of us simply will never quite understand. Due to the fact that this side of life, when solved by using complex equations consisting of probabilities more complex than anything we may know it today’s mathematics; usually gives us answers which are not “simple”. It gives us answers that have different variances, answers that will likely have meaning both metaphorically and literally. It’s the side of life that makes for an interesting story or for a worthwhile experience. We can never truly quantify this other side of life. It’s full of variables that we simply cannot even begin to fathom. This is the world in which sometimes the impossible is made possible. This is the side of life we often refer to as the “spiritual” world, or the magical side of life.

So you see, when one begins to see that life is both simple and complex (by no interference of humans as well), one begins to unlock a true sense of deeper knowledge about not only themselves, but those around them as well.

You begin to understand why a person would marry their significant other, you’ll begin to understand why certain wars happen over the course of “x” amount of years. You begin to see why someone who seemingly “has it all”, begins to spiral into a behavior that is “unbecoming” of who we think they are. You start to see both the “good” and “bad” parts of life, giving you a more wholesome picture of what your life has become and where it’s going in terms of natural evolution. That’s why no one hardly ever stays the same, because life has always been about change.

About adapting to change, about embracing the possibilities of changing environments. Nothing ever lasts forever, you must understand how imperative it is for you to grow. For if you stop progressing in life, in your personal life at least, you’ll never be able to uncover the magical side of life. And no, I’m necessarily alluding to your “career”, I’m talking about your own private moments of solitude with your family or yourself in general. Those are the moments that count the most. Of course, work will always be important, or else we would all go crazy with all the free time we would have on our hands. But in fact I’m not talking about such matters. That’s more on the side of common sense.

Once you begin to admit to yourself how imperative it is for you to take a hold of your personal life, you begin to uncover a side of life which is rarely, if ever, talked about.

Knowledge truly is powerful. Once you obtain a small piece of it, it can certainly be either a very helpful, or very dangerous, thing indeed. Tread the path with a steady mind, friend; for this lifetime is full of unforeseen obstacles and unlikely outcomes.

 

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

Ancient Mystics & Seers Were Mathematical Statisticians

I believe that Mystics and Seers in the ancient world (and in today’s world as well) must have secretly been Statisticians. They must have used statistics in their daily lives whenever they were helping to “predict” someone’s future. They did this simply by knowing some basic knowledge of who their client was. A really good Mystic or Seer likely knew everyone in the town or city they lived in. That’s probably why they were able to “accurately” (or closely enough) predict what that person’s future was to hold for them. They must have seen the probabilities and likelihood of events that can happen in a human’s life span.

Undoubtedly, the best types of Mystics and Seers are those who have “intuition”. Those types of Mystics and Seers utilize both their instincts and their logic. That is possibly one of the deadliest combinations a person can ever wield.

You see, the best Mystics and Seers imbue both the logical and complex world of statistics with the world of strong intuition and common sense. This is what makes them so coveted and even feared.

When I was younger, I always wondered what the magic was behind “Fortune-Tellers”. I always wondered if there was some kind of trick or hidden secret they knew that I simply would never uncover or understand. But now that I’m older, I’ve come to decipher their secret craft and trade. The answer, however, was definitely not what I thought it would be. But nevertheless, I am convinced that these types of “gifted” people are merely “touched” with the gift to understand and utilize what we call “statistics” in todays modern world.

Think about it in this context:

When Rome was about to “fall” from it’s position of military power over it’s neighboring countries and nations, I’m certain many of those who were skilled at “foresight” knew what was about to happen within a couple of months. They could sense, based off of any information they could gather from the high-class society of Roman society, and also with the general unrest that was growing even from within their boundaries. There are likely many sources of evidence that led to the eventual downfall of Rome as an empire, but likely, this “predestined” fall was undoubtedly already predicted based off the information many Mystics and Seers had gathered over the span of a couple of months.

That’s also probably why many people found Mystics and Seers so mysterious to begin with. They likely were misunderstood in terms of not understanding how they perceived and took-in information. They likely deciphered scenarios unfolding in vastly different ways then a common person could at that time. You see, religion was the ruling authority of the ancient world. Thus, mathematics, science, or anything else that had to deal with the scary “logical” side of reality, was banned from the mainstream of many different societies. It wasn’t always this way, but history has a strange way of falling into historical cycles. Repeating history is inevitable to some degree, but that is simply because we are human and we’ll never truly change who we are.

In summary; Statistics, this single branch of the overall mathematics curriculum, is probably one of the most descriptive and arduous math courses one can take in their lifetime. There’s something in-depth about it; knowing the mere probabilities of an event occurring. It’s so mind-stimulating and intense; it undoubtedly makes me giddy with joy just wondering about all of the possibilities out there in the world.

I would certainly love to find out more about this, but I think for today, that should do it for this post. Some things, perhaps, are better left unspoken.

 

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel