Transformation

(Inspiration for this poetic piece, click me to listen to song)

Transformation

I feel myself disconnecting from who I am.

Who I am….

Who I…………..was?

I’m beginning to wonder: what’s wrong with me? 

Why am I losing pieces of myself?

Why are those pieces floating out of my consciousness like a stream of water flowing downstream at an unimaginably blinding speed?

I see you. 

I…..saw you?

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m starting to see you or if I’m beginning to see…….my own reflection?

Like a kaleidoscope of dizzying colors, my once dreary eyes are beginning to see the faint lights of ever-changing fates.

To see the potential of you and I. To feel the winds of unspoken truths caress my face with faulty lies.

I’ve begun to speak in my dreams of feverish nightmares borne of an indifference to what’s going on in our shared world.

I’ve begun to distance myself from who we are meant to be.

I’ve broken our promise.

I’m sorry.

I’m so incredibly sorry.

I feel like I failed who I was meant to be.

And yet…

Yet my future is bright.

What does that even mean?

Why do we cherish those who have “made it”?

One day.

One day, I swear on my very soul.

I will live my truth.

I will change this world, even if for just a flash of a moment.

I will change the collective consciousness of our society for just a second in history.

I will defend the honor of what it means to truly survive and thrive in this world, I will remind myself of why I still breathe.

No doubt the best of humanity dies young; for the old and aging continue to live and support this world full of deception and abuse. I should know, I’m becoming such a thing. Such a creature of the night.

Why haven’t I ended it all for myself?

I don’t feel suicidal. That’s likely the reason why. But still…why am I playing along with this game?

I can’t stop myself either. I’m filled with determination unlike anything of this world. But…why? Why am I so competitive? Why am I so determined? Even though I don’t wish to be, I just am?

Confusing thoughts spiral in my mind as a wave of over-confidence washes over me…or is it doubt?

But I’m not indecisive; though I wish I was at this moment.

I wish I was more confused than I’m playing it out to be.

I wish I could come up with some excuse; some tainted truth.

Thoughts intertwined with hallowed emotions. I don’t actually feel anything at this moment. I’ve become numb. And yet, my heart still beats? It beats with life, with the ever-pulsing rhythm of life.

Why has our world succumb to such devastation and derelict woes?

Why, why, why, why, why, why.

Our voices are drowned out, our opinions are non-existent, and our stories will forever be untold.

The truth will forever glimmer in the moonlit sky like a long-forgotten wish. The truth will flicker as a lone candle does in the dead of night. The truth will be unseen like the silent bird which has no voice to sing. The truth will exist, but only for itself alone. It will never be comforted, never be hugged with delight or cherished for its unique characteristics. It will never be able to shine so brightly that the sun, and the moon, and all the stars are meaningless to the bountiful life on Earth.

The truth will forever remain unclaimed. Forever untouched and despised. For truth brings inconvenience. It fosters a sense of hostility between two souls. It reminds all of us of our inevitable death. It reminds us that life is so precious; yet we are wasting it away day-in-and-day-out by working away at a job which holds no meaning to our true community; our true loved-ones.

The truth is harsh.

It is cruel and cold.

Like the nights of cold-sweat drenching your body; it is unforgiving and relentless. Like the days full of addiction and of growing numbness to life; rejection of truth brings about the calamity of your very existence. Like the darkening sky full of dread, or the mysterious secrets veraciously biting away at your soul as you try and reason and bargain with darker realities. Truth untouched is like a baby without her mother. It is like an unheard cry in the middle of nowhere. It is like the blood-thirsty eyes of a feral creature ready to devour it’s prey.

It is like the breaking of glass, as the world comes shattering down upon the weight of our lies.

But…

Once acknowledge and accepted; truth transforms it’s once ugly disguise into a beautiful soul.

Dancing in the light of day, truth can once again show us the way to salvation and holiness.

It can help us become worthy of being named children of goodness. Children of the righteous path – even if it isn’t always the easiest one.

Truth……

Truth can set us free again.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view picture credits)

A Sense of Entitlement Leads to Nowhere

A sense of entitlement can only lead you to your demise, your downfall, and your eventual undoing.

Hello everyone, it’s me R.S. Noel coming to you with another post. I want to say thank you once more for all of the new and returning followers; I’ve enjoyed reading all of your comments and also reading some more of your articles. It’s always refreshing to get new points of view and to understand where different people are coming from.

You must understand that a sense of entitlement, over time, can cause you extreme pain and a lackluster sense of what life is truly about. You become shrewd, coldhearted, and close-minded. Your taste for the good-side of life becomes so polluted, that you begin to become weary of anyone and everyone who shows even a small inkling of compassion towards you.

I know this to be true, because for the longest time, I led my life this way.

I was far-removed (mentally-speaking) from my fellow human beings around me. I felt as though I had dissociated myself from every single living thing in existence. My mind was the sole ruler of my existence, and I had lost all capacity for empathy and forgiveness.

To some degree, I may very well still be this way. But I’ve quickly come to realize over the last couple of years, that everyone in our world (to some varying degree) is this way. We all live in denial to some level; in order to be functional-acting adults. Without a bit of denial of our current environment; we could very well lose our minds from the madness that surrounds us. Everyone chooses their choice of drug, mine happens to be writing.

You see, being entitled may allow you to survive in the hierarchy of our society. But it doesn’t; however, equate to your happiness. Entitlement is not a necessity of life, you can live without it and still succeed. You can still make great strides in the business world. Of course, you may not be as intimidating without your false sense of entitlement, but you will be immensely respected by everyone who knows you. You’ll be remembered fondly upon by your closest loved ones and dearest friends. You will leave a legacy of love that goes beyond any capacity of valuable knowledge.

Because truth be told, love conquers all. In some shape or form, love always prevails even in the darkest of nights.

You likely know this already; but there are two ways to earn respect. The first is out of fear, and the second is out of love.

If you show those around you some semblance of human compassion, even if it may be small, then you will see some very interesting results. Those closest to you will show you an immensely huge amount of respect. You will be the revered leader they’ve been longing for, the captain of the ship whom is just as likable as he/she is stern. Because like most things in life, you need to find the right balance between both sides of the spectrum. The spectrum I’m talking about, is of course the spectrum of emotions and logic. The more emotional you are, the more whimsical or unreliable you will be to your team. But in that same token, the more logical you become, the less respected and less appreciated you’ll be.

The contradictions of life are endless, but once you begin to open your mind and your eyes to the wider world around you, you’ll begin to understand how it works. You’ll begin to appreciate all of the people in your life, and you’ll also begin to let go of anyone who doesn’t truly care for you. 

Because that is likely the root of your sense of entitlement. You’ve been wronged for too long by someone you love. You’ve had a father who was emotionally unavailable and distant to you. You’ve had a mother who had a negative response for every accomplishment you achieved. You’ve had a boss who belittles you and laughs about it right in your face. You’ve had a sibling who ignores any attempt you make at making any real relationship with them. Or, you might of had a husband or wife who abused you physically or emotionally; beyond humanly perceived pain.

Either way, you’ve led a hard life – one full of unforgiving obstacles with nobody to help you get out of your rut.

But remember this; even in your darkest of hours; only you harness the power to respond to your situation. And in turn; how you respond will likely change the very course of what happens to you in the future; forevermore…

 

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of Photo: (Visit Me to View Photo Credits)