Transformation

(Inspiration for this poetic piece, click me to listen to song)

Transformation

I feel myself disconnecting from who I am.

Who I am….

Who I…………..was?

I’m beginning to wonder: what’s wrong with me? 

Why am I losing pieces of myself?

Why are those pieces floating out of my consciousness like a stream of water flowing downstream at an unimaginably blinding speed?

I see you. 

I…..saw you?

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m starting to see you or if I’m beginning to see…….my own reflection?

Like a kaleidoscope of dizzying colors, my once dreary eyes are beginning to see the faint lights of ever-changing fates.

To see the potential of you and I. To feel the winds of unspoken truths caress my face with faulty lies.

I’ve begun to speak in my dreams of feverish nightmares borne of an indifference to what’s going on in our shared world.

I’ve begun to distance myself from who we are meant to be.

I’ve broken our promise.

I’m sorry.

I’m so incredibly sorry.

I feel like I failed who I was meant to be.

And yet…

Yet my future is bright.

What does that even mean?

Why do we cherish those who have “made it”?

One day.

One day, I swear on my very soul.

I will live my truth.

I will change this world, even if for just a flash of a moment.

I will change the collective consciousness of our society for just a second in history.

I will defend the honor of what it means to truly survive and thrive in this world, I will remind myself of why I still breathe.

No doubt the best of humanity dies young; for the old and aging continue to live and support this world full of deception and abuse. I should know, I’m becoming such a thing. Such a creature of the night.

Why haven’t I ended it all for myself?

I don’t feel suicidal. That’s likely the reason why. But still…why am I playing along with this game?

I can’t stop myself either. I’m filled with determination unlike anything of this world. But…why? Why am I so competitive? Why am I so determined? Even though I don’t wish to be, I just am?

Confusing thoughts spiral in my mind as a wave of over-confidence washes over me…or is it doubt?

But I’m not indecisive; though I wish I was at this moment.

I wish I was more confused than I’m playing it out to be.

I wish I could come up with some excuse; some tainted truth.

Thoughts intertwined with hallowed emotions. I don’t actually feel anything at this moment. I’ve become numb. And yet, my heart still beats? It beats with life, with the ever-pulsing rhythm of life.

Why has our world succumb to such devastation and derelict woes?

Why, why, why, why, why, why.

Our voices are drowned out, our opinions are non-existent, and our stories will forever be untold.

The truth will forever glimmer in the moonlit sky like a long-forgotten wish. The truth will flicker as a lone candle does in the dead of night. The truth will be unseen like the silent bird which has no voice to sing. The truth will exist, but only for itself alone. It will never be comforted, never be hugged with delight or cherished for its unique characteristics. It will never be able to shine so brightly that the sun, and the moon, and all the stars are meaningless to the bountiful life on Earth.

The truth will forever remain unclaimed. Forever untouched and despised. For truth brings inconvenience. It fosters a sense of hostility between two souls. It reminds all of us of our inevitable death. It reminds us that life is so precious; yet we are wasting it away day-in-and-day-out by working away at a job which holds no meaning to our true community; our true loved-ones.

The truth is harsh.

It is cruel and cold.

Like the nights of cold-sweat drenching your body; it is unforgiving and relentless. Like the days full of addiction and of growing numbness to life; rejection of truth brings about the calamity of your very existence. Like the darkening sky full of dread, or the mysterious secrets veraciously biting away at your soul as you try and reason and bargain with darker realities. Truth untouched is like a baby without her mother. It is like an unheard cry in the middle of nowhere. It is like the blood-thirsty eyes of a feral creature ready to devour it’s prey.

It is like the breaking of glass, as the world comes shattering down upon the weight of our lies.

But…

Once acknowledge and accepted; truth transforms it’s once ugly disguise into a beautiful soul.

Dancing in the light of day, truth can once again show us the way to salvation and holiness.

It can help us become worthy of being named children of goodness. Children of the righteous path – even if it isn’t always the easiest one.

Truth……

Truth can set us free again.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view picture credits)

What is Love? (Part 1)

Love is such an immensely large part of who we are as human beings. It’s what defines us as a species, and moreover, it’s what defines the generations to come into existence. We are passionate creatures, we do “reckless” things out of our emotions of love. The greatest dramas, tragedies, and plays of our time have all cumulated to stories with the whirlwind effects and consequences of true love at it’s highest form.

It’s something that we will never get rid of, and I’m completely glad this is the case. Because life without love is like a fish without water. In other words; there’s no point to living life without some form of love.

The whole premise of our existence is to feel; just as much as we utilize our minds for logic. Truth be told though, it’s a balancing act. It’s about the Yin and Yang, about the equilibrium of our existential presence here in this experience we call life.

Hello everyone, it’s me R.S. Noel coming to you with another post. I want to say thank you again for all of the new and returning followers; this has become such a great and interactive side-hobby for me, that I can see myself blogging for years to come. I have plenty of time (God willing I don’t get hit by a truck or anything), and I intend to use some of that time in life reading, and more importantly, writing; here on my website.

Since the beginning of time for human beings, love has always been at the root of our birth. Through the harshest winters imaginable, to the deadliest heatwaves known to mankind; love has always prospered a civilization, it has always made a people grow into a culture worth remembering and worth knowing. For even through all of the convoluted lies, deceptions, and backstabbing; love will always prevail in the end. And that’s what makes life such a thrill, such a rush of fresh air.

It’s exhilarating, the experience of knowing someone you love will always be by your side; whether in life or in memory; love still exists in both realms. A companion to always comfort you when you’re in your darkest hour of life; such a person in your personal life surely holds great importance to you. That emotion you feel for your loved one, that feeling you experience every time you see them; that’s what life is all about. It’s about cherishing the small time we all have here on Earth, and making the best of whatever twisted or unfair situation we find ourselves in. Because at the end of the day, none of the “fluff” of materialism has ever mattered. You won’t be taking anything of material wealth with you to the afterlife. The only things that remain, then, are those of our most cherished memories. Of our fondest times here on Earth.

Love is so incredibly powerful.

It defies the very laws of physics. A force that not even science can ever prove, or disprove. Love is boundless, free-spirited, and has a wild mind of its own. It takes a hold of you in ways you never knew existed. It transcends any drug, any source of pleasure, and any type of attention any of us could ever receive. When you find true love, it’s as though the whole world stops existing for a single moment in time. It’s as though the winds stop, the oceans become calm, and all of the problems and mayhem that plagues your societal life; come to a complete and utter halt.

It’s that emotion you feel after getting over the nastiest memories, the cruelest of people, or the hardest of days. It’s a feeling of truth, the kind that never leaves you. It’s like breathing out a sigh of relief that releases all of your worries, doubts, and fears.

Such an emotion is forbidden in our world for a reason. It holds the very life-force to change the course of our history.

In my own personal life, I secretly utilize this force of change for the betterment of not just my future; but hopefully the future of other people’s life as well. I understand to some degree, that the feeling of love is forever fleeting, and will just as soon arrive at my front door just as quickly as it’s willing to leave.

So what is the purpose of this post today? Well put simply, it’s to remind you of what’s important; even when shit hits the fan. It’s to help keep you grounded when you start to feel powerless or useless. It’s to motivate you to keep on walking forward, even when you see the road ahead of you appears to be nearly impossible to traverse.

Because at the end of the day, all that remains, is love.

Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

 

Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits)!