Deceptive Truths and Realistic Lies

There’s a difference between deceptive truths and realistic lies. At times, we may not even know how to differentiate between the two. At other times, we can easily “read between the lines”; so to speak. Recently, I had an encounter with a particular man  at my work which required me to utilize my skills in deciphering the true meaning behind his words. And luckily for me, I’ve dedicated my whole life to the unbiased truth. 

Safe to say, the man is out of a job.

Life doesn’t always side with justice, but when it does; it feels as though the world is “right”. It feels as though justice, as elusive as it is, has finally stirred and awoken to the reality of my small (and admittedly, very insignificant life), and smiled ever so faintly towards my misfortune.

I don’t really ever get too personal on my blog; but I’m starting to feel confident enough to open up a little bit more to this otherwise wicked and strange world.

I wish that man no ill will. I wish he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and not say the things he said to me. But to be completely honest, he caused his own undoing. Ambition, whether it be at work or in some competitive sport, is a healthy thing to have. But when you start to openly coax people in front of others, that’s when a fine line is drawn in my book. His only mistake that day, was that he believed it was wise to cross me. Sure, it’s all fun-and-games when it’s joking around. But the thing is, I’ve only worked with him one time before this incident; and it was for a very short amount of time. It was such a short amount of time, I didn’t even get a good or proper read of the type of person he was.

But that is in the past. Though I may remain calm and silent during such a moment of disgrace, inside – I knew that this man had lost his job faster than you can say: “Wait, I’m sor-.” (word ending is “sorry”).

You see, the politics of work are one in which you must walk a fine line. Especially since he was at the same level as me; he should have been even more careful. If this man had been a manager or someone of a very “prestigious” level; the story (without a single doubt in my mind), would have ended with me losing my job. But; he wasn’t bright enough to realize that both he and I were the same. We were both lowly workers working at a nice little café. He should have been wise about his actions – especially since he is my age. I would have thought better; but then again I must remind myself, that we are all imperfect. His thoughts and ideals of what a person should be might have been correct; in his mind. He might of wished for me to be a certain way, or to remain quiet about such an issue, or to buckle. But I know how to play the game of politics. I’ve studied it well enough to know when the odds are against me and when they are “indifferent” to me. And all I need is for the odds to be “indifferent” to me. 

I’ve come to understand that we are all very imperfect creatures. Erroneous by nature, beautiful by design. For you see, perfection is boring, is predictable, and is a machination. But to be imperfect, to be erroneous at times when things may turn out differently; that is an existence and adventure worth going through. It’s unpredictable, a tale which can never be concretely known. For you see, perfection holds no true value. That’s why, even if you aren’t religious (like myself), that one saying “made in the image of God” means that we may look like “God”, but we were designed to be imperfect for a reason.

Our lives, for whatever the cause, were created to be full of contradictions. The algorithm of our collective existence was meant to be this way.

Let’s view this truth through an example:

If we lived our lives “correctly”, then there would be no progression or regression. Life would be, by all intended accounts; “static” or “unmoving”. It would be a reality which could not be challenged or opposed at all. In some ways, if such a reality existed entirely, our very minds would be dulled-out; and moreover, we as a society/culture would begin to disintegrate and unravel at the seams.

Once life loses meaning or purpose in our collective lives, we soon thereafter cease to matter. And once we stop mattering, we no longer have the willpower to live on. That’s why throughout history; even geniuses committed suicide. For even though they had recognition, for even though they may have held positions of respect, none of that mattered to them personally. Of course societally speaking, they felt respected and revered. But if they themselves weren’t happy with their personal lives, then they found no purpose in living, or “existing”, for a lack of a better term.

We may never truly know the real depths of our existence, and that’s okay. In fact, if we possessed all the “worldly” and “spiritual” knowledge of our reality, we would certainly be leading lives with no purpose, no sense of livelihood or sense of living. We would merely be “existing” in this physical manifestation we call life.

So in some way, life is meant to be cherished. It’s meant to be experienced for both the good and the bad. For without the bad, we would never know what a truly “good” life looked like. We could very well find ourselves lacking a sense of community, a sense of our position in said community, and moreover, we would be deprived of true happiness which comes from within ourselves.

No other person in the whole world can provide happiness for our life; only we hold that power above ourselves. Even the most wicked manager, the most demented parent, or the worst teacher, cannot hold any authority over our ultimate wellbeing. They may influence our emotions, but our own thoughts are what creates our emotions. If you’ve lived long enough, you would realize that your thoughts and actions are the true ruler of your existence.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits!)

Philosophical Journey (Part 5)

As the days go on, as the minutes change to hours, I’ve begun to realize just how quickly time slips away. I noticed when I stop keeping track of “time”, the progression of each day begins to meld into months; then morphing into a year, and soon thereafter, into a decade. Things have begun to speed up, and I’m not entirely happy with this reality. I don’t think anyone would be entirely happy with this reality.

It’s a fact of life, but there are certainly secrets which time itself knows nothing about. Things that I have kept to myself. Though time may rule our physical lives and the unique experience being alive gives us; time cannot dictate our thoughts. Our thoughts are the one singular piece of ourself that we hold onto until the very end.

Hello everyone, it’s R.S. Noel coming to you with another post, and today I’ll be talking about the extraordinary phenomenon of our existence and how time itself is truly not the master of our entire existence.

Time has a funny way of outrunning us at the most random and inconvenient of times (pun intended). On the other hand, time always seems to slow down when we don’t need it as much. It has a way of haunting us during moments of sorrow or pain, yet it flies away during moments of happier days. Such a strange occurrence, and yet, it excites me all that much more. Scientifically speaking, the progression and existence of time only truly dictates our lives because we allow ourselves to be ruled by our mortality. If we, as a society, didn’t put so much emphasis on our “youth”, then life would be just fine. Of course, getting older also comes with a host of health complications and unforeseeable injuries; but as we age, we begin to realize that true life doesn’t exist just in the physical world alone. We realize that there is another part of our lives that is just as equally important as the physical manifestation of our being. That is; our internal world; or the world in which we use our imagination and creativity.

This world is what is truly everlasting. This is the part of us which doesn’t erode away with time. Just as the seasons progress, and the state of the world changes, our physical life is merely a vessel for our internal world. After all, we treasure our experiences, memories, and our moments with loved ones. We don’t cherish the physical manifestation of our lives; for without experiences, memories, or anything else which holds true significance in our lives; our very existence would hold no real value.

So in some strange, twisted way, I’ve realized that my physical life, your physical life, or anyone else’s physical life for that matter; holds no comparison to our internal world; or the place we call our “mind”. We are nothing without our experiences; it’s for that very same reason anyone who suffers from dementia or amnesia is looked upon with sorrow. Because we all know, to different varying degrees, that our lives don’t hold personal importance without these things. Of course, life is a mystery. To some people, this very same phenomenon can be the very same blessing in disguise for anyone who has lived a traumatic life, or who has led a very difficult life for that matter.

My favorite saying is: “take everything with a grain of salt”. You will face adversity in your life, you’ll likely face opposition to varying degrees, and most likely, you’ll have “good” and “bad” times during the course of your lifespan. But the one singular truth that exists for all of us, is that in the end; we are the only ruler of our existence. Even for the man who faces persecution and death; even the woman who lives life according to another person’s will; and even the young child who sees no hope in their future – all of us still have our internal worlds. After all, life never truly stays the same over one person’s lifetime – for better or for worse. That’s the game of life though; for one person to live a happy life, another person suffers. In essence, life changes, even if it’s small. It morphs into something else; something unexpected and unrecognizable.

Your life, and mine, is one of an ever-changing existence. We simply cannot accountant for the very magnitude of our life. It is one which may never truly be understood in one book or retelling. For you see, we can never truly understand the meaning of our existence. Though we can philosophize about it, though we can discuss about it, we really can never have one singular answer to our existence. The easy answer is that our only purpose is to procreate. The more difficult answer is one which only you personally can discover on your own. For the road less traveled is the road which leads to true riches and glory; one in which only you have the power to find peace-of-mind and heaven-on-Earth.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel



Source of photo: (Click me to view photo credits)!

A 2017 Liebster Award Winner!

Wow, thank you so very much Amanda Wilson for nominating me to be one of the recipients of the 2017 Liebster Award! She runs her personal website and blog I’m very honored and humbled that anyone would even think of nominating me, and truly, the only reason for any of the success I’ve found online is thanks in part to you Amanda, and the rest of my amazing followers. I wouldn’t find any motivation to write without you guys, and I would have no purpose in my blog-posts without any of you; thank you so much for all of the support, comments, and interaction. It helps me a lot whenever I find myself burnt out from the fun, daily grind of life. (Here’s a link to go check her blog out if you haven’t already done so).

Following the guidelines of receiving the 2017 Liebster Award, I’ll be giving out a shoutout to a blogger who has inspired me the most, I’ll also be nominating five bloggers to receive the 2017 Liebster Award as well! After that, I will be answering the 10-Questions Amanda Wilson presented to her nominations. You’ll get to learn a little more about me through the questions asked, and maybe, get to see a side of me which I don’t really show here on my website.


My Shoutout:

Following the customary guidelines of winning the Liebster Award; I’ll be giving a shoutout to a blog which has helped me overcome my deep-depression over the last couple of months. To be completely honest, it was very difficult having to choose just one blogger amongst this awesome community of writers. But I have to recognize his natural gift for writing the thoughts I may sometimes hide away. That honor goes to StripSearchLA. He’s very candid and honest, and writes very insightful blog posts and articles. He is also one of the bloggers which I have nominated as well! (More on that after this!). Thank you StripSearchLA for being awesome and just being you. It’s refreshing to find other writers on here who share their philosophical and private experiences online. You are a great example of what it means to honor the craft of writing and to stay as true to yourself as possible.


My Nominations for the 2017 Liebster Award:

In no particular order, I nominate the following amazing and talented bloggers:

The questions I want you to answer (if you wish to), are the same questions I was asked by Amanda Wilson! Here they are in descending order:

  1. Why did you start your own blog?
  2. If you could travel back in time, what time period would you visit and why?
  3. Favorite food and/or drink?
  4. Who is the most influential person in your life? (Famous or not).
  5. What is your favorite animal? Why?
  6. What is your favorite season? Why?
  7. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
  8. What is your top Bucket List item? Why?
  9. Who/Whom is your favorite musical artist?
  10. What has been the most rewarding moment as a blogger?



  • Why did you start your own blog?
    • I started this blog in the hopes of sharing new perspectives and to gain new insight into the many different life experiences and daily struggles other people go through. In essence, I was looking for a way to connect with other people who share the passion of writing – whether it be as a hobby, business-purposes, or for any other host of reason, I just wanted to find common ground with people that I may not necessarily know in my own personal life. Without writing, life can seem somewhat bland.
  • If you could travel back in time, what time period would you visit and why?
    • I would like to travel back to the earliest time of human existence. To the beginning of human creation; if you will. I would have loved to see the true history of our species, to see firsthand who (or what) exactly caused us to form. I would have loved to see what kinds of  small (or big) technological advancements the ancient civilizations created before recent recorded history. We know so little about our ancestors, and yet, the breadth of knowledge is immensely vast and seemingly unattainable to our modern-day existence.
  • Favorite food and/or drink?
    • My favorite food would have to be the Jambon de París (sandwich). And my favorite drink would have to be a piping hot Macha Green Tea Latté (on a nice cold morning).
  • Who is the most influential person in your life (famous or not)?
    • Most influential person…hmm….that’s a good question! Let’s see; the most influential person in my life would have to be a fictional man by the name of Jomlo Suri. I won’t say where he’s from, or who he is; but he’s definitely my role model and has guided me through many otherwise disastrous scenarios. He’s certainly a source of influence on me whenever I find myself in a truly complex situation (which isn’t all that often to be fair). But still, he’s got my back when nobody else does.
  • What is your favorite animal? Why?
    • Favorite animal has got to be hamsters. The reason hamsters are my favorite animal, is because when I was younger (around 10 years old), I had also gotten a dog. So naturally, I was more excited to play with my dog. This, of course, led me to forget about my hamster. I vowed, from that day forward, I would never let that happen again. It was definitely a learning experience which I will hold with me till my grave. I eventually want to get a hamster again when I finish college and find my accounting dream-job (lol, just any accounting job would be nice). I want to prove to myself that I can look after even the tinniest critter. That will be in about 2-3 years from now since I’ve been working at a boutique coffee/cold-brew/tea shop and go to school at the same time. 
  • What is your favorite season? Why?
    • Winter. Winter is the season which we must all endure through together (or alone). It has got to be one of the most arduous seasons as well. Because in order to see the ray of hope on the other side, one must always go through the cycle of life here on Earth. Winter proves the weaklings from the truly strong (inner-strength). At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how muscular you are, if you can’t endure cold weather, you won’t survive in the natural world. And I had to prove myself when I was a kid once at Lake Tahoe in Nevada (USA). Though I am physically blessed, it was during that one winter in Lake Tahoe that proved I wasn’t truly strong. That was the day I started my true journey to being a strong person.
  • If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
    • Invisibility. Sometimes I find that the most interesting conversations happen between people when nobody is around them. That’s when bits and pieces of the truth of each person is revealed.
  • What is your top Bucket-List item? Why?
    • To go skydiving. I’ve always wanted to know how flying feels like. Admittedly, I am slowly getting over the fear of doing such a thing.


  • Who/whom is your favorite musical artist?
    • Keiichi Okabe. He co-composes the music for the NieR gaming series. He’s a musical genius and has an amazing talent to hear sounds and music like so few can. 


  • What has been the most rewarding moment as a blogger?
    • Realizing that I can make a person’s day a little bit better was the most rewarding moment I had as a blogger. Just to let this certain someone know that I’ll always try my best to hear them out whenever they may have a bad (or good) day is what gave me purpose to stay around even more. Moreover, just to be able to find the spare-time to even have this blog is a true blessing within itself.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

In Times of Love and Hate

There are days in which I find myself greatly in-tuned with everything and everyone around me. These moments only happen when I’m surrounded by only a few random people. Be it coworkers at my job, my older brother, or even my best buddy from high school (I’m shocked we still hang out and get along really well; I always had this assumption that high school friends just “disappeared” after it was all said-and-done).

Intense emotions take over me at times, but even at these moments, I keep such feelings to myself with no one being the wiser about it. I go about my daily routines as though nothing is out of the ordinary; like everything is where it should be. And for the most part, that’s how I’ve always idealized it to be. I’ve come to find myself living a nice, comforting life. Though it may be crazy at times, and a little unbalanced every now-and-again; my life has finally found some semblance of peace and inner-serenity. 

Probably one of the biggest aspects that I’ve come to realize over the course of this last year; is just how excited I am to be able to one day start a family. Whether I choose to adopt or marry, I know I’ll just be happy to be a parent to a child. To help them grow, to teach them some of the life lesson’s I’ve learned along the way. To make them understand the importance of both math and arts. To allow them to grow naturally as a human being. But most importantly, to teach them that life doesn’t always give you what you want.

I think that’s the most important lesson anyone can learn in life. To reach a place in your life in which you feel so at ease is a blessing in disguise. You haven’t truly lived yet if you haven’t allowed yourself to both work hard, and play harder. In this sense, you get the best of both worlds. You grow a really awesome work-ethic, and at the same time, you learn to really appreciate those small moments you have to relax with your family and those who you love.

In some way, that’s the whole concept of life. It’s to really create and cherish moments of genuine memories.

People who take life so seriously are not blessed. They’ve likely found themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel sorrow for them, for I know they are faced with the demons of negative people in their lives, at their place of employment, or even just the demons of severe depression/anxiety. I used to have all-three plaguing my life. It lasted for about four years. I’ll never forget how desperate I was for the pain to end, how loathsome I felt towards people. I hated not only other people; but I hated myself. I had hated the fact that I was born into this twisted and disgusting world. But that was at a time in my life in which I had no real control over my life. I had been left to the wolves, so to speak. But I needed that to happen in my life in order to really become the man I am today.

I am stronger, smarter, and more livelier for it. I have come to see that experiencing life is one of staggeringly-high “up’s” and incredibly-deep “down’s”. It’s not a fair existence, but life would have no purpose or value without the small (and large) struggles we may very well face in our everyday lives.

I’ve learned to live-and-let-be. That’s been my motto in life ever since I had a really big “aha” moment; in which I realized that other people’s drama and pettiness is not of my own. In fact, I know I insult people with my candidness. I am frankly unapologetic at times. At my best, I can be a harbinger of change. At worst, I can be the very bringer of misery and decay. I know we all harness the powers to make life heaven-on-Earth, or make it a living-hell. Either way, you alone are the sole owner of your actions. We may all have thoughts and deep emotions; but to have the strength to master both of these aspects of ourself is probably the highest form of wisdom there is in the whole entire world.

You have to be humble in life sometimes. There are times when you should be ambitious and aggressive, but then, there are also times when you should learn to go on “autopilot” and take each day at a time. That way, you enjoy your days even more and you create more memories with the people around you throughout your life. Like I said, there’s a time-and-place for everything; and I suppose right now in my life, I’m just blessed to be able to enjoy this time period of my life where I can truly just work on myself and hopefully get to start a family one day.

But for now, I believe I will end this post for the day. May the light of tomorrow shine upon your gloomy day. For the promise of our future is always sweeter than the bitterness of our past.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits!)

Music Monday! – The Adventure of a Lifetime

Hello everyone, R.S. Noel here with another Music Monday! post. Today, I’ll be sharing with you another music soundtrack that really gets my creative forces flowing. This one harkens a sort of Chinese New Year inspired-theme in me; one filled with adrenaline, the rush of new beginnings, and a sort of unknown uncertainty that captivates the soul and mind with a relentlessness, unbounded. I remember when I was 12 years old, and I had a friend who was a first-generation American; but who’s family had emigrated from China in hopes of finding new opportunity (which they did, as they began to successfully open a chain of drug/liquor-stores). His American name was Henry.

One day in January of my Freshmen year of high school, I remember my friends and I seeing him holding a red envelop. He explained to us briefly what Chinese New Years was all about; and why he was holding that red envelop. Inside of it, was money for good luck. The elderly would gift the young with some form of small (or large) compensation. Almost like a one-time deal every year.

In return, the young would be expected to spend that money wisely. Think of it like an “investment” into the future generation.

Some Chinese families of course, aren’t so strict on this concept. They might just give the children some money without much expectation. But traditionally, that money was meant to be invested towards something of value in the “real world”. 

At any rate; here’s the soundtrack. As usual, I highly recommend using headphones so that you can hear every instrument being played. And also, to make sure nobody around you hears the music. It’s not your typical mainstream one-hit-wonder after all. (Click me to listen to the soundtrack!)

Assuming you’re listening to the music now, I’ll now describe what I imagine when I listen to this track. The following is an “shortened” excerpt from my progress-in-work titled “Arkanim: Tales of the Fated Souls”:

A thrill; a rush of unknown fates. Tonight was a night of celebration, of festive wonders and woes. A time to reflect, and a time to predict the future. Twas an experience which would not go quietly into that silent night.

Amidst the large crowds of cheering, laughing, and jubilant villagers; a group of brave harbingers could be seen running through the ancient streets of this village of Kinkuly. Amidst the cultural festivities, these enlightened humans were after one target. A woman so secretive and mysterious, not even they were certain they would find her again.

One of the members of this group, a young woman named Lurina Urus’don, looked around as she felt like a foreigner in a strange land. Yet her parents were born here; even if she was swept away to Runisca (a different country) at a young age. Though she physically resembles her people, she didn’t feel connected with any of them. She felt alienated, as though she didn’t belong in a homeland which was robbed of its innocence long-ago.

At any rate, as the group of harbingers were running forward; this young woman spotted something in the corner of her eye. A sight of peculiar wonder.

A hooded figure, standing with arms crossed above one of the wooden rooftops. Almost as if…

Without even thinking, Lurina bolted after this shadowy figure.

“Lurina, where are you going!?”

She turned around briefly as she bolted forward, and pointed up at the shadowy figure: “There!”

She felt a gust of wind pass by her as she ignored her companions now and rushed up the side street leading up to higher grounds.

She periodically bumped into other people, profusely apologizing as she rushed forward with all haste. There was a flicker of urgency shinning in her eyes, an ambition to find out the truth of the current situation her friends and her had found themselves in recently.

It’s been too long; too long without finding any substantial answers to their unfavorable questions.


Fire works above began to burst out with sizzling crackles and loud resonance. The crowds of people below roared out in surprise as some begin to clap with feverish excitement. There was a sense of endless possibilities now; the very balance of equilibrium was now tipped in favor of those usually less fortunate.

Lurina found herself rushing up another set of steep stairs as she kept her eyes locked onto the the rooftops of the buildings to her right.

She could see the shadowy figure still standing there, but now, the unseen person had her delicate hands outreached to Lurina. She was beckoning the young woman to follow; to hear the unknown secrets only this cloaked woman knew of.

Lurina felt her heart race even faster now as she saw a side-ladder up ahead. She could almost hear her heartbeat thudding in-between her ears. She was close. 

Strangely enough, just as Lurina looked back up at the shadowy woman, she could see her turn her back towards Lurina now and begin to run herself.

Taking no chances now, Lurina sped up her pace as she shook her head in denial. The mysterious woman wasn’t going to get away that easily; not without a fighting chance.

Behind Lurina, just as she reached the ladder, she could hear a familiar deep voice.

“Your brother is ever the persuasive and never taking no for an answer. As stubborn as a gorgus.”

Lurina turned her head slightly right as she faced the ladder now. “I suspected you would be close behind me. You were keeping a close eye on me ever since I got back to Kinkuly with the foreigners.”

The native-looking man nodded his head slowly. “And for good cause, look what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

Lurina smiled a bit as she shrugged. “It can’t be helped, we have nothing to lose now. Let’s go then, Zante. Follow my lead.”

With that, Lurina quickly grabbed a-hold onto the bars of the ladder and began to scurry her way up the length of it like a swift fox determined to find her prey.

Quickly stepping atop this building’s wooden rooftop now, Lurina scanned the sea of unleveled rooftops now as she looked for the cloaked woman.

She was nowhere to be found.

“Damn it” Lurina thought to herself as she began to jog forward with a sense of unyielding determination. She couldn’t give up now, not when the stakes had become so high in value.

But as the man named Zante reached the top of the rooftop as well; luck would seem to turn more towards their favor.

Suddenly, the very air of time itself froze.

Lurina and Zante hadn’t noticed it at first, but as the both of them continued to jog forward towards the sea of rooftops, Lurina stopped in her tracks suddenly as she saw the fireworks stuck in mid-burst within the night sky.

“Hm…?” Zante grunted with a sort of disbelief unbecoming for the usually silent and assured man.

Lurina stared at their unmoving surroundings as she felt a cold chill run down her spine. “What in the-!?”

Lurina and Zante now walked forward slowly as both Urksinians were untrusting of this new situation they had found themselves in.

But just as the two Urksinians were now moving forward with a sense of caution, Lurina spoke to Zante with a sort of peculiar fear evident in her voice. “We should turn back, something doesn’t feel right…”

But as Lurina finished talking, she looked over her shoulder slightly and was shocked to see Zante stuck in time now.

He was like a statue, unmoving and drained of all life now.


Lurina moved over to him as she tried to shake him. But nothing worked. There was a strange force-field layer over his entire body. It was as though Lurina was in a different realm of existance altogether.

But Lurina was not left alone for too long now.

A woman’s voice began to break through this strange time-less environment.

“Lurina…can you…can you hear me?”

Lurina jumped up with a deep amazement as she looked all around herself and tried to figure out who was talking. Was this all truly going on? Or was this all just in Lurina’s head? No…the voice sounded as though in was coming from somewhere deep within the night sky now. Or was it coming from the crowds of unmoving people down below amidst the streets of Kinkuly? Lurina wasn’t certain.

Testing out the metaphorical waters, Lurina looked up at the sky as she stammered a bit in her response. “Ye-yes I can…”

It was silent for a moment longer as Lurina continued to carefully turn around in full spins. Her eyes crazily examined the sea of people below now as she tried her best to locate where the voice was coming from. It was increasingly difficult though, almost as though every moment that passed would be a moment lost forevermore.

As Lurina remained patient, the voice reemerged back into her eardrums as she could hear it more clearly now. “Lurina, there’s an impeding doom looming over the balance of our world. Yet I’m afraid you will not be amongst those responsible for fixing this problem. Your path lies with another fate. You must listen carefully to me. The very continuum of this journey, and the very continuum of this world, falls upon your shoulders at this very singular moment in time and history. Do you understand the severity of my words?”

Lurina tried her best to compose herself. What in the world was going on?  Surely this could not be the doing of some kind of strange technology. Lurina felt her mind abuzz with dizziness that she had never felt before in her life. This was massively overwhelming; Lurina’s very sanity was beginning to falter into question.           

But somehow, Lurina felt as though she believed what this woman was telling her. She knew she had to listen to whatever she had to say. “Yes…yes I understand what you’re saying.”

The voice was more readily responsive this time as the unknown and unforeseen woman spoke up once more. “Time is merely a concept and reality of our minds. Do not fret, for you will succeed in this task. It does not require time. You see…” The voice was getting unimaginably closer now, as Lurina seemed shocked and in awe at this strange phenomenon. “There are things in this world that you will never know of, for it is we who keep it that way. Yet you will remain safe, but only if you listen to exactly what I say.”

Lurina squeezed her fists tightly now as she felt fear rapidly taking over her entire nervous system. “What…what exactly do I need to do then?”

The voice did not reemerge this time as Lurina began to look around again.

Lurina was more feverish in her attempt now as she slowly began to move forward and looked down at the sea of frozen people as she tried to make sense of what was going on. She felt herself gain a little bit of reckless confidence now as she cleared her throat and addressed the unforeseen woman more directly.

“Where are you? Show yourself!”

No response.

Immediately, Lurina was beginning to panic a little as she steadily felt herself stumble backwards a bit out of natural fear. “Who are you?!”

Still no response.

Lurina spun around again, but this time, as she did – her eye caught it; the strange displacement amongst the crowds below.

The only single individual who was staring up at Lurina, staring at her behind a strange yet elaborate dark ivy green mask which was beautiful in appearance.

The woman had a hood concealing her identity as well. The ivy green robe that she wore was very detailed, as it appeared the only human part of this mysterious and unknown woman was her visible chin and mouth. Her lips were curled ever so slightly into a curious smile. It was as though the woman found amusement in Lurina’s bewilderment. Or, she found amusement at Lurina’s vulnerability. Either way, this woman had Lurina just where she wanted her.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits!)

Reflection Upon Ourselves and Society

Attention: this will be a lengthy post, but for good measure! It’s a short-story in which I believe accurately depicts the nature of ourselves and the society we live in.

It was something I came up with while running at Descanso Gardens the other day. Not leaving anything to chance, I quickly recorded my thoughts as soon as I got home.

Here are the results:

One day, a boy and a girl were walking through a forgotten trail. They were dear friends, blissfully ignorant of society’s demands; or the consequences of not “following the rules.” They were, by all accounts, unaware of the different paths they would surely walk upon in the unforeseeable future.

Well; the boy and girl ran through the large dirt path which winded right and left, which had small hills, and which had expansive ever-green lands as far as the eye could see.

But as they continued to make their way through this forgotten pathway, they noticed that up ahead, there was a bend in the road. Two different paths were now visible.

Most peculiar of all, was the old blind man sitting lonesomely on a wooden chair. He was ironically staring off into the distant horizon.

As the boy and girl looked to each other, the boy asked the girl if they should turn back. The girl agreed they should.

But before they could make another move, the old blind man spoke to them.

“Do not be afraid, for I am just like you – a human who is misunderstood.”

The boy and girl both looked at the old blind man as they felt nervous. They should definitely turn back now.

But the old blind man stood up carefully; with the help of his walking stick.

The two children were frozen with unknown fear. They weren’t sure what to do anymore.

As the old blind man slowly, but eventually, made his way over to the two children, he cleared his throat and spoke clearly to them.

“Well, it would appear you two are brave indeed! You’ve proven to me that even though you harbor fear; you certainly were brave enough to stand your ground. Commendable! For such courage, I will impart upon you some gifts of knowledge.”

The two children looked even more confused. They weren’t brave, they were merely frozen with fear. But to the blind man, it made no difference. They hadn’t left him when he had approached him; and as far as the old man was concerned, he took this as an act of bravery.

The old boy cleared his throat now, as he looked up at the old man and inquired about his presence. “What are you doing out here all by yourself? Shouldn’t you be in an old-fogies commune?”

The blind old man seemed baffled by this young boy’s words. “Lad; you must be mistaken. I’m not dead yet. In fact, I feel more alive than ever before! Now shush, let me impart upon you some knowledge. It’s the only thing I have left to give, so hear an old fella out, wouldya?”

The little girl nudged the boy and shook her head. “Let’s hear him out at least. He probably just wants someone to talk with. If worse-comes-to-worse, we can outrun him. We’re certainly faster than he is.”

The old blind man seemed disheartened, but also proud of the little girl. “It seems you are well-versed in our current reality; you’ll make it far in this lifetime. Ours is a reality wrought with corruption, lies, and deceit. You’d do well to take some advice from her, lad.”

The little girl seemed slightly embarrassed; and the little boy seemed somewhat infuriated by the old man’s comment.

At any rate, the blind, yet wise, old man said: “Our sins are born of our willing ignorance and naivety. Our society is upheld not by illusions, but by deceptive truths. You see, the truth takes on whatever form an individual’s perspective is on such a matter at hand. To the materially rich man or materially rich woman, their profits are not an act of sin. No, such acts are merely an act of preservation for themselves and their family lineage. But to the poor and disadvantaged, such acts are seen as acts of deception and lies. The poor are uneducated, due to school systems not meant supported financially or systematically for their children’s advancement in society. The poor are misunderstood; not fully seen in the eyes of “wealthier” individuals and ignored by all those who share their status. You see, the rich person’s profits are gained on the backs of those who work day-in-and-day-out for monetary compensation; to survive in the rich person’s world.”

“We have damned our future children’s lives, and their future children’s lives as well. But do not fret; for everyone should still live out their lives according to their true wishes. Because truth be told, the cycle of our different civilizations go through different phases. Nothin ever stays the same, so you shouldn’t dictate your life by fear of the unknown. Life has always meant to be about the unexpected.”

“You see, everything is a cycle. Just like the seasons of our world, once you understand this concept, you will begin to understand everything that is about to happen in your life is not of your own fault. No, it was the fault of past generations, of their actions to preserve their own lives, their own families. It was actions taken against the wellbeing of “the community”, and made towards “turning a profit”. For the rich person is no fool. They understand the workings of our physical world. Of this world we see with our two eyes. They fully embrace their natural talents to abuse such authority and rise above the madness of our world.”

“We have created a world in which compassion, nurturing, and understanding are only eligible for those who are a part of the top earners of our society. For everyone else who falls to the wayside; which is sadly the majority of the people in the world; are faced with the harsh realities of inequality. You see, money was never a part of a fair game. Money can be a good thing; it can lead to wealth – but the game we’re playing in is far from realistic. It’s barbaric, brutal, and unforgiving. If you don’t own a successful business, you will learn to live a life full of micro-management, a life full of harassment and degradation. And all of this happens without a single person flinching. We, as a collective, understand that there truly is nothing we can do about changing such a reality. We have, in effect, learn to love this abuse, for our survival depends on this re-wiring of acceptable behavior. After all, parents instill fear into their children in order to have kids who are willing to behave and listen without much difficulty.”

“Now you may be wondering: why are you here? Well, I have been left by the wayside in this lonely corner of the world. Beaten, harassed, misunderstood – I am merely a human being who wanted to help others. But this society has created a monster. I have become a beast; in the eyes of this upside-down society. To be human, means to be against capitalism. To be human, means to be against those in positions of power. To be human, means to be weak and a fool. You see, you are afraid of me because I want to help. You would sooner trust a kind old man who is a pervert, than you would a strange old man who is trying to educate the young folk, like yourselves, on how to survive in the real world. The real world is the world you cannot see with your own two eyes. No; it is in fact the world in which rests deep within your mind and your heart. It is the one place you can go to whenever the physical world becomes corrupt and unbearable.”

“You will find at times that your life will in fact become unbearable. You will have days of hardship, days full of misery and misfortunate. Days filled with complexities you cannot even begin to imagine. But to help you endure through such tragedies; your mind and heart will help to heal your broken soul. Trust in the voice deep within you. Trust in your instincts, for they are there for a reason. Above all else, trust in the fact that the physical world can sometimes be a crazy place full of contradictions and misdirections. In such times, you must close your eyes, take a deep breath, and realize that this moment too shall pass.”

The children had long-since lost interest in the ramblings of an old and wizened man. They were instead, more interested in the two separate paths which lay ahead of them.

Without even thinking it through, the little boy blurted out. “Which way should we go?”

The old man shrugged and looked down at the two children. “I’ve never gone past this point in life. You two, though, shall have to make that choice yourselves.”

The boy and girl looked stunned as they looked at each other, and then up at the old man.

But as they turned their eyes back on the old man, he was gone. Like a flash of light disappearing within the shadows of an eternal darkness.

Where had he gone? Was he ever truly real? In some way, the boy and girl might never find out. Life was, certainly after all, full of puzzling and mysterious secrets. This was just one such experience they would face in a lifetime full of overwhelming uncertainty and heightened adventure.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits!)

Irony of Spirituality and Love

Today was like any other day.

I woke up, readied myself, and drove off to school.

I took notes in Statistics and my Accounting class. I studied, did a little bit of homework, and even went for a little walk.

But that’s where my day changed forever.

It’s no secret I love to go on long-walks. Whether it be at Descanso Gardens (my favorite place to find peace and quiet when I need it), or whether it be driving up to Deukmejian Park to hike the mountains behind it (yes, it’s a weird name for a park if you’re not familiar with the La Crescenta/Montrose area lol). The point is, I like to move, to feel the natural light hitting my hands and arms, to leap form rock-to-rock while I return to the world of imagination in my mind. Rushing down the many slopes, and leaping up the steeper ascents; my journey is one filled with unmitigated emotions which wash over me with arduous force and unclear intent.

But that’s what made this particular day so different.

I felt Cupid’s Arrow strike me down. The arrow which leads to love.

Love of an intense kind.

One that is unmoving and definitive. A love that knows no bounds. The kind of love that shows you what’s truly important in life.

I found myself falling deeply in love; but not with anything in the real world.

No, I was enamored with the love of two of the characters in my work-in-progress book titled “Arkanim: Tales of the Fated Souls”.

I found myself so-in-love with these two character’s love, that I walked around all of Descanso Gardens with a red face. The kind of face which was burning hot with the illustrious passions of these two characters.

Their names? Garbol Estion and Rhea Orlette Cornira.

Their love is one of deep meaning, of two star-crossed lovers. As tragic as that might sound, the genuine love they share is one of realism. It is of the ups-and-downs; it is one of mishaps and some missteps. Somewhat naive, and even a bit conflicting at first. But this kind of love is only experienced once in a lifetime.

I often wonder if I’ll ever find true love like this again. I’m always busy, constantly trying to get myself out there in the world in as many ways possible.

I remember dating a very special girl for 3 years, her essence was so caring and genuine whenever I was around her. We had an amazing 3 years together, and she was my first for everything. She showed me what love looks like; what it feels like, and how to respond to love with a woman. She gave me hope in life; she showed me the brighter side of an otherwise dark and bleak reality.

But after a series of events, I found myself dashed with depression of reality. The reality that I needed to end the relationship with her. I had no choice; I felt as though I was going nowhere with my life (at the time, since I had just gotten out of high school); and I didn’t want to bring her down with me since she was a little older than me; in her prime years to be exact. She certainly wanted to settle down and have a nice life.

Throughout the entire time I was with her; she never once told me she didn’t mind that I wasn’t “rich”. She told me she didn’t care if I didn’t have a house or a mansion; or a Ferrari or Mercedes. I’ll never forget how much she loved me for who I was; who I used to be.

She was an angel, and I know deep down, I’ll never meet another girl like her. If she ever needed help down the line; I would always be willing to be there to help her out. I will always be available for her, no matter what she needs.

You see, a woman’s love is pure. It’s untainted by reality. It’s a mental drug men can’t get enough of. It causes us to go blind with devotion and dedication. True love, like that kind, will cause a man to walk half-way around the world to find his woman. I still feel the flames of passion for her; I still feel the burning desire of pure love that she left in me. Her beautiful outlook on life caused me to break my seemingly never ending cycle of deep depression. But in the end, I wasn’t silly enough to hold her back. I knew; even if she didn’t at the time; that she needed to find someone who was out of college; had a start on their career (even if they were just starting out), and settled down with them.

I truly loved her, and it took a lot for me let her go. I know deep down, she understood my choice too. Of course, it didn’t make it any easier for her; but I know she knew the reasons why I had to let her go.

Life is full of countless ironies and wrong-timings. If I had met her; say, 3 years later, perhaps it would have worked out wonderfully. But I met her too soon in my disheveled life. You see, life is too short to waste away; and at that time in my life; and didn’t have any clear outlook for what I wanted to do with my life. Back when I was young, I lived for the moment and didn’t care much for planning. I was a true free-spirit then. Now, I am more mature and realize that every action has an effecting consequence.

Put simply, at the end of the day, I didn’t want her to live with any regrets. I wanted her to find some semblance of balance and equilibrium in her own life. To keep her to myself when I didn’t even know what I wanted out of life, would have been selfish and single-minded. I would have delayed her own natural progression in life to go further in her career, to start a family, and to eventually settle down. I was not the person to provide that for her at that time in my life. In fact, I’m still now. But that’s simply because my priorities in life are focused primarily on school.

And thus, this is where I conclude today’s post. Life is full of numerous mysteries and countless uncertainties, and we must learn to take each day at a time. Live and let grow. that’s my motto for today.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (View me to view photo credits)

Philosophical Journey (Part 4)

Life is a phenomenon that no one in particular can ever pin down. We are always constantly trying to find reasons for the actions of others; or trying to decipher why people do certain things. We may even question why we must live within the confines of society. For all the good society does for us; it certainly has it’s negative effects as well.

Like anything else in life, society has two sides. One side, which is the side in which we constantly live-in, is the very same one in which we as a people live out our days in acknowledgement of what’s going on around us. This is the “seen” world, the obvious and easiest option to live within. There are many cons to this type of viewpoint. The most obvious, is that people tend to “normalize” everything they see after a while. They begin to grow hateful and vengeful towards perceived “others”. Thus, they invariably create an atmosphere and environment around themselves that is one of pure distrust and skepticism about anyone who they see as a threat to their viewpoint. No light ever seeps out of their reach; and the sad part, is that they will be the only ones to face their inevitable end. Because everyone must honor life while it last; since none of us will live forever.

The other option is the spiritual world, the emotional world, the world unseen. This is the world in which we hurt, we love, we feel pain, we endure through tragedy. This is the world in which everyone is truly who they say they are as a human being. This is the world of logic, of common sense, and of greater things. We must come to the realization that this side of life is likely the most vital aspect to living on Earth. For the physical world is just a manifestation of temporary experiences and wounds.

We must share our life with those who accept the light of truth. In that same token, those who truly traverse amongst the path of the philosopher; we must also understand and find remorse for those who walk the path of the dark, of the deceived and powerless.

Because true power rests within our bonds to each other. We are all stronger together, as a group, as a cohesive unit of human beings. Of course, it won’t all go according to plan. There will be valleys and mountains to traverse over. Yet, keep this in mind: no singular person is better or wiser than those found within an honest bound. Whether it be through marriage, through friendship, or through any other form of mutual companionship; a sense of respect and love is what builds the greatness of our human legacy.

Always remember that the importance of life lies not in a singular person; but in the depths and diversities of a group. Imagine the potential laying in wait; slumbering as we go about our daily existence. The lives around you are your key to make a better future for not only yourself, but these people as well. You are just one single person amidst a cosmos of human beings.

Life very well will present to you many different paths, many temptations, and various outcomes. But you must never lose sight of the truth path in front of you. We all have our own different purposes here on Earth, but if you lose your wayward for too long of a time; you could very well be looking back at your life and regret not doing the one thing you know you were always meant to do. 

Justifying choosing one of the many options you have in front of you in your current life will certainly lead you down a path that is not truly yours. You must remember why you exist, what your dreams are. Dreams of course may change over time, but true dreams – those which are unbreakable, will always rest within the back of your mind and in the depths of your soul.

No matter what happens in reality, don’t let that affect your judgement or perception of the truth of our world. Be steadfast in your personal convictions, especially if it’s to make even a small change in the world. Be grateful for everything you have, and realize you can utilize the resources around you to create a life worth remembering when all of this is said and done.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (click me to view photo credits!)

Music Monday! – An Ancient Tribal Fever

As I lay awake at midnight on the eve of this week’s Music Monday!, I am reminded of a time in which I was feral in nature. When I was a young(er) man, I was truly a wild spirit. I remember all the trouble I would get into, all the times I was seen as a mischief, an outcast in school and also in my environment. During this time of rediscovery, I’ve come to remember who I was before I let society dictate my actions, thoughts, and emotions.

With that aside, I would like to say that this track is what inspires me to write certain scenes in my work-in-progress book: “Arkanim: Tales of the Fated Souls.” As usual, I would recommend listening to the following track with some headphones on; you can really hear all of the instruments playing throughout the track : (Click me to listen to the soundtrack!)

The intense; almost ritualistic nature of this track, never fails to induce me into a state of deep-like concentration. The chanting of the men and women in this particular track, gives me the sense that they are a part of the same village; the same tribe.

I imagine a foreign land within the world I created in my mind long ago. I imagine the native peoples of this floating landmass; I can hear the ancient cries of ceremonial hunting; of cultural dances and moves only known to these people.

The huge floating landmass is known as Inur-Urksa. The people; known as Urksinians. They are a proud people, a stoic and determined type as well. There is a competitive nature to their existence; unlike the civilizations belonging to the other three terra-bound landmasses of this world.

These people wield that of a brave-heart. They are cunning, tactical, and calculating. Their cultural norms are similar to those of our own Earth’s early human history. Stained with mystery, and marred by unknown fates; the Urksinian people are formidable fighters who have learned to maneuver their body movements with extraordinary ease.

With my storytelling put aside for now; I want to open up a little more to you. I want to be more honest with you.

I never melded well with others whom I didn’t get along with. In that regard, I would always ignore people I never liked. I believe this trait of mine stems from the neglect I received as a child. You see, I was raised in a single-parent household with only an older brother to look after me since my mother worked overtime at her work at a home-loan corporate office. (Perhaps the name Country-Wide Home Loans rings a bell in some people’s ears). Well, that’s the place my mom worked at for 10 years before it went out of business in 2008 during America’s economic recession (more like long-term economic depression, if you ask me).

Anyways, before my step-dad came into the picture; I was an untamed soul bouncing-of-the-wall with energy. My mom always told me I was filled with too much energy. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe I’ve slowly begun to get that energy back.

However, with that said, when my step-dad entered the picture, he helped me stay grounded and also helped me immensely with understanding my role as a man in society.

My step-dad is awesome, and I only grew up thanks to him. I still have a lot of “growing up” to do, but I might as well be honest with you all, and let you know I’ll always be a kid at heart.

I’m wild. I love the thrill of being my own person and seeing the reaction of those who may oppose me. I’ve come to realize that honesty in society is a bad thing. No one likes honesty; especially when it uncovers secrets that someone may not like being uncovered.

I’m a lot of things, but the one thing I refuse to be is a phony. Even if I tried, I get the feeling it would be quite apparent how bad I am at “faking” who I am around people I either like, or dislike.

Life has a funny way of providing us humans a way of expressing ourselves in the most unconventional ways imaginable. Writing, in all of its forms, is probably my favorite though; and for more reasons then I can keep count of.

Writing flows, it harnesses one’s energy and creates new life. It creates worlds unseen, people unheard of. It sets the stage for a battleground, a war; unknown. In the end though; even if writing is seen as “fictitious”, the one truth that remains is the fact that writing holds a mirror to our current reality; to our otherwise distorted society.

It reflects the current morals lacking, and also, how backwards we’ve come as a collective people. It reminds us that the future doesn’t always correlate with “progress”. You see, progress is hard-earned; not something easily acquired without trial and error.

As long as we live in a cultural and society of deep-rooted denial and lies; we will never progress any further than we once have before.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel


Source of photo: (Click me to view photo credits!)

During Times of Darkness

When it comes to the reality of our existence, many of us are faced with the demented reality of our demons. Not literal demons, but the parts of our lives we would rather not discuss openly with any other person. Not even our closest confidant. It’s almost as though the environment of secrets and deceptions we’ve all been growing up in, invariably has some kind of effect on us as we get older and older with each year. It’s strange how mortality works.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever come face-to-face with death, but speaking from personal experience, I’ve come very close to her fatal grip. It was when I was ten years old, one night at around 2 in the morning; staring out of the kitchen window into my family’s secluded backyard; when I considered the unthinkable.

I was so very close to facing my death. It was a strangely humbling moment to realize the balance of life and death; and how fragile it can be at times. The very fringes of existence had hung in the balance like never before in my life. It was a dark time, and I’m not ashamed to admit that it existed. It was a part of who I was, and even who I am now. I’m not sure how to better explain the experience, but the best way I can describe it is that it’s akin to the feeling you get when you look up to the night sky and stare out at the  all-engulfing starry night sky. There’s a deeper sense of connection you have with the universe. It’s as though you finally begin to feel connected with the world; and everything that’s around you for the first time in your life.

The strange part is that I felt in my heart of hearts; that my family would understand. I’m not sure how I can explain this, but in some way, humans have this sort of innate primal knowledge, the knowledge that not every single offspring can survive in this dog-eat-dog world.

Perhaps, in another strange conundrum of life, that’s the reason why society will never fully work. To have an ideal or utopian society, you would need everyone to be “submissive” or “robotic”. That wouldn’t be a very interesting life though, and for some reason or another, humans have remained as a species which harbors a mixture of deep-rooted emotions and boundless logic.

Well, now that you have some idea of where I’m coming form; I’ll explain to you now how all of this ties into my journey in becoming a writer.

A sense of adventure and a desire for traveling has always stirred within me. This is the part of my life which has always given me hope for a memorable life-experience. To meet all types of people, learn about the many different/vivid cultures, and to understand just how diverse the world truly is. Just as much as I’ve always enjoyed creating imaginary worlds in my mind, I’ve also loved seeing the real world and the different lifestyles that are out there. Seeing and hearing the many sights and sounds of such places of secret existence is the best treasure of life.

In some way, my innate curiosity helped heal my broken heart and soul. Because what had initially caused me to nearly face my existential end, was the fact that I had been naive enough to believe the lie of a “cookie-cutter” lifestyle.

It wasn’t for me, and it never will. And I knew this would make my parents, especially my mom, very sad. I can’t settle, I can’t just sit around in a nice little condo/house and work the rest of my life away while life is happening out there in the world. The problem for me, was realizing that my life was not my own. No one’s life is their own, and that’s why I felt my soul shatter. It was the sorrow of knowing that nobody in the whole world can stop the inevitable. We certainly have the potential courage to change our fates, but often times, it comes at a cost.

My whole life, up until the moment I had begun to realize “the truths” of not only my small life, but also the lives of countless other people; I had thought everyone was living their life they way they wanted to live it. But reality had hit me, and for one reason or another, it had been a soul-shattering wake-up call for me.

Thus, when all-else had failed me; the one place I could turn to was my mind.

The world I had created was one of multifaceted drama, of experiences that were very unlike the mundane and pre-determined life I had once lived. It sprouted a never-ending fountain of creativity within me. Though I was on the brink of this life and the next, I felt something change in me. Something that reminded me what all of this madness we call life was truly all about.

To push through all the crap, to fight for your passions, and to accept that sometimes you will fail miserably. But what matters the most, is how quickly you forgive yourself and move on to the next goal or obstacle in your path.

To run through life with a sense of growing restlessness within one’s soul; that feeling you sometimes get of connecting with the world on a whole new level. This is the true meaning of life. To seek out the secrets that nobody speaks of, or even knows of. This was the life I sought out. This was the experience I wanted to remember when I grew older.

Now that I’m 24 years old, I’m nearly finished with creating the foundation for myself in order to actually create such memories in a “stable” environment (because let’s face it, even majoring in business/accounting doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have a “stable” life. Truth is, there is no such thing as “stable).

Yet the drive within me to create even more memories with different people from other countries, is what moves me forward each day. I’ve gained a new insight into what it means to be human in a world which is ever-changing. To be grounded and have a solid foundation; these are the things that matter the most out of life. No matter what pettiness exists in your life, or any other obstacles that may be hindering your “advancement” in life, you have to look past these insignificant parts of life; and remember that what truly matters is the experiences you have with those who truly matter to you. Your loved ones.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel