Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you well! I will begin a weekly journal entry starting this week (week of 09.15.19 to 09.21.19). I’m doing this now due to the amazingly fast progress I’ve made within the last year, and what I can see happening for the near future.
As I’ve finally settled into my new apartment and acquainted myself with my now-familiar surroundings, I’ve rapidly begun to embark on quite a whirlwind of a journey. Ever since my work experience in Alaska 1 year ago, I’ve felt as though I’ve been on a metaphorical non-stop rocket heading to the vast unknown beyond.
I’ve seen more progress in this last year than in my entire existence thus far. I know I’m already 26 years old, but something tells me that the next couple of years will bring about more personal responsibility and an unyielding sense of duty-before-self then ever before. The coming years for me will require the strength and conviction of a thousand men for me to push through the obstacles I will undoubtedly face.
But I know what I’m doing now will set the stage for a brighter future. A future where innovation and common sense are tied together, and where greed alone is not the only driving force in preserving our vastly ailing world.
Taking a step back from the bigger picture for a moment, I should humble myself again and reflect on what’s happened in the last couple of weeks.
It was two weeks ago that I initially moved into my new apartment. Within that time, I’ve begun to assemble the necessary items I’ll be needing to make my space comfortable and home-like. Even now, I am not quite complete with my setup, but I know that I will be making headway towards the next chapter of life’s adventure sooner rather than later.
Indeed, it was a week ago in which I left my parent’s house in quite a dramatic way. Our relationship is patched-up now, but looking back – I don’t regret the way I went.
It was a breakaway moment that was utterly liberating of who I was; and into who I am becoming. It was a moment of vast truth that was left unspoken for years and years and years. Words that should have been spoken when I was a kid. But back then, fear held those words back due to fear of being left to the streets of this world.
That is the past. Now, I am blessed to live in the present moment.
Reflecting now, I noticed that there was something quite intriguing that occurred in my mind; at that moment, I let myself free of all fear — a moment of full clarity.
In that moment of echoing shout and pain, I was the only person responsible for my life. In that frozen time of my life, the authentic and full realization of knowing that I had to do whatever it took to succeed, overcame me. I knew at that very moment that I needed to make a success of not only my life – but of the passionate artistic work that I’ve dedicated the majority of my existence to. Whether I fail or not, is not my concern at this time. I need to do. Now that fear has left me; I know this reality is possible.
Fortunately, with my day-job, the learning curve was not as steep as I would have anticipated. Being that I work in the accounting/finance industry, I had the basic knowledge necessary for the transition from my previous place of employment to this new one that paid double the salary of said-previous job.
This new position, of course, requires more corporate-level responsibility on my end, but now that it’s been a solid two months into the new job – I’ve learned the vast majority of the role and what’s required of me.
With all that aside, though, what matters is that I can now begin on the journey I’ve been waiting to start since I was a kid. A journey that is wrought with a sense of reckless abandon, of daring risks, and of certain death if I’m not careful.
And to think this is all for a story. A book.
To think I will be risking my life one day for a series of books which hold the truth of our existence, of the true meaning of our lives that we have long since forgotten, and of our genuine connection with one another.
To think of it now brings me both a sense of pride and also a sense of foreboding doubt. No matter what, I know that whatever the future may hold is out of my control at this point. What I’m doing is following the will of righteousness and the will of consciousness.
But is this path the right one I should continue walking along? Does justice truly prevail in the end, or will my endeavors be all for naught? Will I be made a martyr for my desire to see a shared sense of justice rule? Whatever may come; only time will be the final determinant of such a fate.
Either way, nothing in life last forever.
And thus, with a tumultuous end, comes a mysterious new beginning…
Forever in Your Debt,