Online Journal (Entry #013)

Hi everyone, it’s me R.S. Noel coming to you with another post. Today’s been really bad so far. From almost being late to my morning class, to witnessing someone almost get their ass kicked in a fight that was unevenly matched, to feeling somewhat isolated in my Math 136 class during group discussion, things are not looking up.

There was an empty seat next to me in the computer lab where my Stats class takes place in. Usually there is a guy who sits there, but today he sat in the back. Furthermore, the girl who sits in the seat next to him, had her back turned against me the entire time. It was like I didn’t even exist. I understand they don’t know English very well since they’re from Armenia, but I’ve never felt so isolated before. Perhaps she wasn’t doing it intentionally, and I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt since I know there is a language barrier between us.

I remember the first time I met them, they were trying very hard to speak English, but I felt some semblance of mutual respect for each other. Now, I don’t know what happened. In my honest opinion, I think it has to do with my personality. I’m a very brainy guy who likes to see things from multiple angles and to question the way systems work and operate. To be completely honest with you guys now, I’ve always been “left out” from bigger groups – even when I was a kid. It never bothered me, but today I guess it caught up to me for the day.

Luckily, my Stats professor has taking a liking to me, but I somehow feel as though I cannot connect with anyone in that class. It sounds childish to me now, but during the class, I just feel somewhat uncomfortable. I know the problem is that I’m at least 3 years older than the average student in the class. But then again, I realized that out of a class of 37 students, 19 of us are over the age of 21. Still, I know I’m in the minority.

But then again, this might be a blessing in disguise.

Now that I’m out of class today, I realize that I’ve been able to focus a lot on the lectures and also the word-problems we have to work on. My feeling of isolation has given me the opportunity to really foster a true connection with the subject of Mathematics, and particularly, with Statistics, which is what I’ll need in my line of business once I’m out of college. So perhaps in some way, God has given me the chance to really understand and come to terms with my initial fears with Mathematics as a subject.

I’ve never been outstanding at it, but I know I’ve also never been “the worse” at it either. It’s one of those love-hate relationships I used to have with Mathematics. Yet ever since I took Math 131, which was essentially “Pre-Statistics”, I’ve come to appreciate all of the complexities and intricacies of Statistics.

At any rate, I also woke up feeling extremely exhausted and hung-over from a late-night eating round my older brother and I had last night.

When I arose at 7:24 a.m. this morning, I found myself sweating like crazy. All the fans were turned “on” in the room, and yet, the air outside was so stagnate and dense, that not even a simple breeze could have relieved the relenting heat both outside and inside the house. Furthermore, I was supposed to wake up at 6:30, but my older brother turned off my phone after it had gone “off” for perhaps a minute or so. He also didn’t even try to wake me up, which was a very nice realization to come to; as I was getting dressed and was rushing out of the house.

Furthermore, after class got out, I saw two young men essentially kick a much smaller guy’s ass in an unfair fight. I should have intervened, but I didn’t.

Why didn’t I? I’m a tall guy built like a line-backer, yet I didn’t do anything for that poor kid. I just feel totally wasted and irrelevant today. There are a couple other things that happened today, but it really is small things. In the end, it all just stacks up. I usually don’t mind feeling like this, but today seems different. Perhaps I’m just letting off some steam, and disappointment, from myself right now.

At this moment, I think it’s important I recognize within myself at the current time and space of my existence right now; that I feel almost completely isolated from the outside world. I feel like having a nice-quiet day and taking a nice walk at my favorite place, which is Descanso Gardens. It’s always nice and quiet there (for the most part). I usually take walks through those gardens when my mind is on the myriad of stories which float around in my head. It’s a place I like to go to in order to shift through my own thoughts and to make sense of all of the ideas floating around in my mind.

But today, when I get home after my Accounting 101 class, I think I’m going to watch some shows on Netflix. I’m currently doing the next load of homework assignments for my Statistics class, which is 3 sections, and about 85 problems in total. It should be fairly easy though, since I’ve grasped the intricate and complex concepts for the next 3 sections. 

I also need to read 20 pages for my Accounting 101 class, so I’m going to go do that right now since class starts in about 2 hours.

With that stated, I’ll leave you all with this quote from Arkanim: Tales of the Enlightened Ones. Today’s quote comes directly from Chapter 4!

The following is a work-in-progress, but I still hold and maintain all the rights for the work presented below. Thank you for your interest and understanding. Enjoy!:

   Excerpt from – Arkanim: Tales of the Enlightened Ones  

     “Eiza oklon-naya vu’vid cozlap deslyra Nari.” [“Tell Narien that I’m fine and to prepare for our secret mission.”]

       Shriner eyed Zante peculiarly as he glared at Zante. “Hey! You need to speak in the globalized Runiscian language. There will be no tolerance of Urksinian words here during this specific time.”

      Zante shrugged shortly as he appeared genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry, I was just saying hello to Lurina and asking how she was doing. If you’re really concerned and curious as to what I said right now; it loosely translates in Runiscian to, ‘Hi Lurina, are you doing well? We’re fortunate to be reunited at any rate, dearest friend.’ There’s no need to fret.”

      For some reason, Shriner wasn’t convinced of Zante’s words. He felt as though there was more to what he had said. Glaring at Lurina now, Shriner nodded his head at her as he questioned the woman. “Is that what he truly said Lurina?”

      Without making it to obvious, Lurina agreed, as she held no other objections to what Zante had really said. “Yes.”

     Shriner really couldn’t have found out what Zante had said anyways, since he knew not even Claris, Vershad, or Ernest knew the Urksinian tongue. So without further delay Shriner allowed the conversation to go – but in the globalized Runiscian language.

      Zante spoke up, but in the tongue that Shriner knew of. “Lurina, I want you to call your brother and let him know of my presence. Let him know I’m fine.”

     Lurina looked bewilderedly at Zante as she seemed to try to decipher what he meant now. “But I thought-.”

     Zante shook his head in disapproval as he rebutted without allowing Lurina to finish completely. “I think it’s time your brother knows I am in fact alive. I do agree your brother and I have quite the history together, but I need to get our differences settled now if we’re to ever be reunited with him.”

     Lurina appeared to know what he was talking about as she nodded her head. “Then I shall call him using the Transmitter Center aboard this aeroship.” Looking to Shriner, Lurina seemed to be indirectly asking Shriner in some way, if that was okay.

     Shriner nodded his head affirmatively as he added in some choice words. “But you must be accompanied by either Claris or me. Like Claris said already, we will be notified immediately if you are in sections of the airship you don’t belong in. So, don’t even think of getting smart and wandering around during afterhours. That kind of stunt won’t fly around here aboard a military grade aeroship. You might as well be turning yourselves into our Custody Department if you think you’ll be doing any covert actions.”

     Neither Lurina nor Zante swayed in their demeanor as they genuinely agreed to these terms. It wasn’t this aeroship that interested the two Urksinians. It was where it was taking them that interested them the most.


Forever in Your Debt,

R.S. Noel

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